really happiness isn't that hard to find

It's funny, how in the time when I'm more stressed than I have ever been, and I am juggling more things than I imagined possible, I am feeling remarkably calm and truly, honestly happy. I don't care how contradictory that sounded, because it's the truth.

Our house is getting ripped apart, so there is no privacy, I'm overloaded with schoolwork, the pressure is stacked on for Arts Fest, music group commitment requires two extra early mornings, work is unpredictable and gives me one less sleep-in day, I still don't have my dress made for the ball, I've had so many people be super-confidey, I manage to fit in youth group, church, helping out with Andrea's wedding, keeping in touch with my close mates and somehow, I really don't feel that unbalanced.

It kind of makes me wonder (this is where I'm going to sound hopelessly selfish and most likely judgemental and cruel, but I feel like getting this out) how people who really do have it good, who have low stress level living situations, who are smart, comfortable, attractive and generally have a lot going for them, insist on being upset? Insist on being depressed constantly and when asked how they are reply 'feeling really bad lately' and can't see the brightness in anything? I don't know. It confuses me. And that weird and very undescriptive description of my thoughts probably confused you too!!

In any case, the epic ball is coming up (March 2nd - only...umm...ten days for those who actually care!) and there will be fake tans galore. But no for me!! Nope nope! I will retain my white glow as everyone else takes on an orange one. But I suppose that is to be expected =]. Still in mixed moods about afters, but hey, everything'll work out okay right? Right!

Study!!!