emily's addictions

1. Birthdays


I really really really love birthdays. I wish we could have them all the time every day. I was constantly speaking to someone on the phone, reading birthday messages, or visiting with the people who dropped in. And eating lots and lots of cake. It was fantastic! And I got wonderful presents, especially my Pandora bracelet. Which is slowly being filled with more and more charms every time someone new comes over! Which is very exciting. And I had a fabulous night out with my girls as well, so it was basically the best day of my life. Pretty much. =]

2. E-Bay

I was always too scared to use ebay because it looked too complicated and what if you didn't like something, etc. etc. But, I was telling my aunt I needed a birthday dress and she got onto ebay and was showing all these fabulous and actually cheap ones, which can arrive ideally soon but who knows? Anyway, I found out that you get emails telling you that you won, so basically, I'm hooked. I have now purchased two dresses! But it'll depend on when they arrive as to whether I wear them or not. So, that brings us along to the next addiction...

3. Dresses

I am so addicted to dresses. They are just so exciting. There's not much else to say about them other than they're great. But they are. Really really great.

4. Chocolates

I have soooo much chocolate from my birthday, but I don't care because I can just eat my way through it as I study away for the last three exams! LAST THREE!! I got a cocktail glass filled with roses from mum's work friend Marilyn and it's basically my favourite present.

5. Mi Goreng

Fastest meal in the world.

6. A Beautiful Mess

Here.

7. Stationery

It's one of the best things in the world to buy, and basically the one thing I'm most looking forward to about Sydney. We can just spend whole days in Smiggle. WHOLE DAYS OF STATIONERY!

8. Dance

We've choreographed a bit of Mirror, by BarlowGirl and so far I'm really excited about it. And there's a concert in November, and I love hanging out with the girls and watching how much they improve from week to week. Well, the week to the week I get there. But still, they're a gorgeous group.

9. Photos

I'm going into camera withdrawal and I'm going to buy a new one on Friday in preparation for my cocktail party on Saturday!

10. Phones

Seeing as I'm (FINALLY) nearly off the crapness plan that is Virgin, I can go on to bigger and better things! I've decided to keep my options open for an iPhone and am going to Vodafone, and finding a phone I won't destruct. It will be hard, but I think I'll be able to do it....

Being 18

Okay so I'm not there yet. But I will be tomorrow =] And I've been thinking about it a lot.

Actually Being 18
I'm not entirely sure what will change, aside from my ability to go to concerts. I mean, when the clock gets to midnight, I'm not magically going to grow taller or be filled with wisdom and be a real adult. Okay, I'll be able to vote but whatever. Nothing physically changes. But it is very cool nonetheless.

Parties
I'm mostly very super duper excited about my Cocktail Party next Saturday. Parties are my favourite part of birthdays, any birthdays. You have lots of people around, you can all dress up and look lovely, you listen to music, you can really talk to people. They're just so fun =] I'm a bit embarrassed about a few of the things they're doing at my party but whatever! We'll have a massive chocolate cake so that's totally awesome with me.

Presents
It's funny but I don't actually care about presents at all. Like whether I get them or not. I never really want anything particular (except PLEASE GOD LET ME GET A NEW LIGHT FOR MY BEDROOM BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE A THING IN THERE). But I got one of my favourite presents of all time last night =] And I believe that will continue on for a while. So that is fun =] And it's fun all the mystery around it, because mum knows what EVERYONE is getting me and she keeps dropping hints but not real hints, just allusions to birthdays and being 18 and it taking 5 - 7 working days to arrive. Anyway. That's just to say I really love what presents mean, not the actual present. And a card totally counts as a present!

Photos
And my favouritest favouritest part of birthdays (asides from parties and cake) is the photos. So I'll be buying a camera this week! But that's beside the point! I love the after-the-party part, when you come home and put all the photos on the computer and look properly at what everyone was wearing, and what was happening and who was talking to who and it's all very wonderful.

And I'm just ranting, but it's making me realize I actually am quite excited for tomorrow =] And next Saturday =]
Anyway, my stress about study has still not subsided so I'm off to go learn about WWI, the Russian Revolution and Nazi Germany, but it makes it nice to know I'll get a break from it tomorrow =]

motivationless rant

I feel rather hopeless right now.

I can see pages and pages of information on Politics and History I need to memorize, in order to write three essays and do sixty multiple choice.
It seems like such a waste to panic over all of this rubbish when that's all I'll do.
Three essays and sixty multi choice.
And only four hours of my life.

ARGH.

That's the thing that gets me about these exams. They seem so futile. I will never need to know all this stuff again.
I'm not doing a History unit.
Politics I knew most of it anyway.
So why should we do exams, where I panic and stress and make myself sick, just so I can get an okay mark?
All I need is 50% to get a credit anyway. So 60% for a distinction.
Which isn't great, but whatever. I don't care.
I HAVE LOST MY MOTIVATION AHHHHHHH
MOTIVATION COME BACK TO ME!
AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT WEEK!

EVERYBODY'S GONE SURFING

I have been ina weird mood lately.
I finished Criminal Law Exam.
Grammar great yes?
I type in capitals to relieve my anger
I ate a whole block of chocolate today
I broke the phone
I love lipgloss
I don't love readings and taking notes and learning for exams
I love facebook groups dedicating to learning a whole unit in a week
I love birthdays and parties
I love it nearly being my birthday!
And I love you all.
The end.
A survey to not occupy you.

List 100 things about your self

1) Full Name:
emily alison zylstraaaaaa

2) Male/Female:
i'm female but i'm a manly female

3) Were you named after anyone?
No. I don't need to be.

4) Does your name mean anything?
Awesome.

5) Nick Name(s):
Em, Zylllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeee
Or to some, Emmy
Or, as my pop will never let me forget...
no I'm not telling it's too embarrassing

6) Who do you think you look like:
ME

7) Date Of Birth:
21/06/1990
Only four more sleeps!

8) Place of Birth and Current Location:
Part a) FITZROY, VICTORIA
part b) PERTH

9) Nationality:
Je suis australienne

10) Astrology Sign:
I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM

11) Chinese Astrology Sign:
I'M NOT CHINESE

12) Religion:
NO CHINESE
OH WAIT
CHRISTIAN

13) What’s your favorite smell?
GOOD ONES


14) Political Position?
I'M NOT POSITIONED POLITICALLY
UNLESS IT COUNTS TO BE AGAINST KEVIN RUDD FOR BEING A RHETORICAL ASIAN SPEAKING WASTE OF SPACE WHO DOESN'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING BUT SAY BUZZ PHRASES LIKE 'I'M BRING DOWN PETROL PRICES' AND 'EDUCATION REVOLUTION!' AND 'I'M GETTING THE TROOPS OUT OF IRAQ BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING NO NO NO NO NO
That's allll

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea or a really fabulous coffee

16) Hair + Eye color:
My hair is red and my eyes are BROWN OR GREEN

17) Do you look like anyone famous?
NOPE

18) What do you look like?
What's this obsession with what I look like/??

19) Any unusual talents?
I CAN SAY THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS

20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?
I WRITE WITH MY RIGHT HAND

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?
JE SUIS STRAIGHT

22) What do you do for a living?
I WORK AT MOO AND SELL YOGHURT.
AND I AM A STUDENT. ISN'T IT EXCIIIITING.
OH AND I TUTOR MATHS AND CHEMISTRY. I'M A MATHS STAR

23) What do you do for fun?
I PLAY THE PIANO AND I DANCE AND I SOCIALIZE AND I DRINK COFFEE

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?
A NEEDLE AND THREAD

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?
I DON'T CARE

26) Have you met your grandparents?
YES, ONE OF THEM IS IN HOLLAND CURRENTLY.
THAT MAKES ME LAUGH BECAUSE I BET HE'S LOST

27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend.
THAT IS NOT A QUESTION! I LIKE BOYS WHO BRING ME CHOCOLATE AND TELL ME I'M AWESOME

28) Crushing?:
ON YOUR FACE

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?
ALLL OF THEMMMMM

30) Current worries?
THAT I'LL FAIL HISTORY AND POLITICS AND LIFE

31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s):
UM.

32) Favorite place to be?
AWAY AND GALLIVANTING AROUND THE WORLD!
OR BUYING STATIONERY!

33) Least favorite place to be?
SOMEWHERE WHERE THERE IS NO COFFEE

34) Do you burn or tan?
BURN BURN BURN BURN BURN

35) Ever break a bone?
NOOOOOOO

36) What is your favorite cereal?
I DON'T LIKE CEREAL I ONLY EAT TOAST OR TEA FOR BREAKFAST
TEA A DRINK WITH JAM AND BREADDDDD AND THAT BRINGS US BACK TO DO DO DO DO

37) Person you cry with?
REAL MEN DON'T CRY

Do You Have...
38) Any sisters:
NO BUT I HAVE HYPOTHETICAL SISTERS.
I JUST TYPED SYSTEMS INSTEAD OF SISTERS. HOW EMBARRASSING

39) Any brothers:
YES I HAVE ONE REAL BROTHER AND ONE PRETEND BROTHER

40) Any pets:
NO NO NO

41) An Illness:
I'M TOO GOOD FOR ILLNESSES
ALTHOUGH MY NOSE IS PERMANENTLY BLOCKED

42) A Pager:
PFFT.

43) A Personal phone line:
EVERYONE OVER HTE AGE OF ONE MONTH HAS A MOBILE

44) A Cell phone:
HA! TOLD YOU!

45) A visible birthmark:
NO. I HAVE NO BIRTH MARK.
ALTHOUGH I DO HAVE A CHICKEN POX SCAR
DOES THAT COUNT?
HEY THE BEACH BOYS JUST CAME ON! =]

46) A Pool or hot tub:
OUI, NOUS AVONS UNE PISCINE!

47) A Car:
I SHARE ONE. I CAN'T AFFORD A CAR. THEY EAT MY MONEY AND PETROL

Describe Your...
48) Personality:
UNEXCITING

49) Driving:
BAHAHHAHA.
AWESOME.
MAYBE A TAD ON THE FAST SIDE


50) Your clothing style:
I HAVE NO STYLE

51) Room:
LARGE AND MESSY AND COMFY

52) What’s missing:
YOU

53) School:
FINISHED!
I MISS SHAGS BUT
IT WAS SO PRETTY

54) Bed:
COSYYYYYYYYYY

55) Relationship with your parent(s):
IT IS RELATIONSHIPY

56) Do you believe in yourself:
MAYBE.

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?:
WHATEV

58) Consider yourself a good listener:
MAYBE

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?
WHAT IF I SAY NO? THEN WHAT?
HUH? HUH?
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ONE
I AM GOING TO GO TO FRANCE AND MEET A BEAUTIFUL FRENCH BOY AND MARRY HIM AND HE WILL BE RICH AND WE'LL LIVE IN A CASTLE AND I'LL BE A PRINCESS

60) Get Along with your parentS:
YEAH, WELL WHAT MORE CAN YOU EXPECT, WE DO THE PARENT/AWESOME DAUGHTER THING

61) Save your e-mail conversations:
NO =S

62) Pray:
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

63) Believe in reincarnation:
NAH ONE LIFE IS GOOD FOR ME =] GOD WILL MAKE IT GOOD!

65) Like to talk on the phone:
YEAH KIND OF DEPENDS ON TO WHO

66) Like to eat?
I LIVE TO EAT
I LOVE EATING
EATING IS THE GREATEST EVER
I WISH I COULD EAT ALL THE TIME!

67) Like to exercise?
EH, DEPENDS

68) Like to watch sports?
FOOTBALL AND NETBALL IF IT'S A GOOD GAME

69) Sing in the car?
ALL THE TIME! THAT'S MY FAVOURITE PART ABOUT LONG DRIVES

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?
I DON'T HAVE DREAMS

71) Dream in color:
.........

72) Do you have nightmares?
I DID THE OTHER NIGHT! HOW MEBARASSING!

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal:
NAH IT'D GET KILLED
I'M A LETHAL SLEEPER

74) Right next to you:
BLISTEX AND RUSSIA READINGS
I DIDN'T DO THEM OBVIOUSLY

75) On your favorite coffee cup?
IT IS PLAIN WHITE AND LOVELY =]

76) On your mouse pad:
LAPTOPS DON'T DO MOUSE PADS

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?
MINTY MINT MINT!

78) Your brand of deodorant?
WHATEVER I CAN GET! REXONA ATM I BELIEVE

79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
EUROPE!

80) Your dream husband/wife:
SOMEONE WHO BUYS ME CHOCOLATE AND PRETTY THINGS AND TAKES ME ON TRAVELS AROUND THE WORLD

81) Hiding in your closet?
ME!
HAHAHA JUST KIDDING

82) Under your bed
NOTHING!
MAYBE A PEN OR TWO

83) The name of your closest/best friends?:
THERE ARE A GAZILLION TRILLION OF THEM
TO EVEN LIST THEM WOULD TAKE MY LIFE TIME!
BUT IS HALL LIST THEM IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:
ACTUALLY NO I'M WORRIED I'LL MISS SOME OUT
YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE MY CLOSEST/BESTEST FRIEND
84) Your favorite time of the day:
ANY TIME I AM HAPPY

85) Your worst fear(s):
RAWR

86) What's the weather like:
I CAN'T SEE OUT THE WINDOW IT IS DARK

87) Your favorite time of year?
ALL TIMES OF THE YEAR

88) Your favorite holiday?
ANYWHERE

89) A material weakness?
CLOTHES AND CHEAP CHEAP ACCESSORIES

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
UGH I DONT KNOW


91) At the top of your "to-do list"?
FINISH EXAMS
SO SO CLOSE... NOT

92) The hardest thing about growing up:
EVERYTHING GETS COMPLICATED AND SHITTY

93) A pet peeve?
PEOPLE WHO DON'T GO FAST ON THE FREEWAY!

94) Your scariest moment:
I NEARLY GOT RUN OVER BY A BUS ONCE




95) Your attitude about love?
WELL I LIKE MY SKETCHERS, BUT I LOVE MY PRADA BACKPACK

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?
NOTHING
I GET THEIR ATTENTION WITH OUT TRYING
LOL JUST KIDDING!


97) The worst feeling in the world:
BEING SAD



98) The best feeling in the world:
BEING NOT SAD



99) Who sent this to you:
YOUR FACE

100) 6 people you tag:
NO
I REFUSE

the many ways to not do study

A GOOGLE SURVEY

Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Emily needs eating companions around noon on Wednesday =] I love eating companions!

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search
Emily looks like a man!!

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google:
Emily does the Salmon Dance just like her dad
.. hmm...

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Emily hates the way her mum cooks turkey.
I found a site dedicated to 'We Hate Emily' =[ =[

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search :
Emily has gone mobile and she's burning trees.

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Emily loves to bounce

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
Emily eats elephants
Or
Emily eats eggs. She struggles.

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Emily has AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
..weird.

9: Type in"[your name] works" in Google
Emily works with companies and organizations as a strategic communications consultant

10: Type in"[your name] lives" in Google search
Emily lives in her own reality, and her 'strength' comes through this -- though her victory is truly not one in the conventional way of thinkin

11.
Type in"[your name] likes" in google search
Emily likes bowls.

Okay. Back to causation.

nothing exciting

This blog always gets more attention when I have exams.

I feel quite surprised and very underwhelmed at the fact there is only five days until I turn eighteen.
I'm excited for my party, and I'm excited for new dresses and pretty shoes, and a lack of restriction if I want to go to a concert or something.
But other than that, it all feels rather anticlimactic.

Oh well =] I'm very excited for the girls coming over and then going to the concert of those people and then enjoying accompanying them out in public instead of to Maccas and home again.
hoorayyyy =]

Okay, STUDY TIME NOW GO

RAWR

THE DEEP SURVEY.
hah. Deep.

[1] What's one thing that would instantly make you dislike a person?
If they are driving anything less than 100ks on the freeway

[2] What do you do when you need to relax?
Lie on my bed and look out the window. And eat nutella.

[3] Why do you think there is war in the world?
Because people get bored and like exploding things.

[4] Do you think it's OK to sometimes tell lies?
I lie all the time. Exaggerating is lying, and it's a part of my daily vocabulary. So....no, but it depends on how.

[5] Do you like things in life to stay how they are or change?
I'm not fussed, everything usually ends up good.

[6] If someone liked you, what would be the best way to let you know?
Um.. tell me nicely. And not delay it, get it out and over with. In a nice way, with flowers and nutella.

[7] What are you listening to right now?
Rain =]

[8] If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first?
Say goodbye debt for the family! And a holiday around the world.

[9] Would it change your life?
Eh. Maybe. Or not.

[10] What was the last thing you purchased?
Tissues. How exciting?!

[11] What do you do when you're stressed out?
Gnaw and bite pens. It hurts my teeth =[

[12] Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else?
Um... yes =]

[13] Do you believe in Aliens?
No, btu it doesn't phase me. If they're out there,that's lovely. As long as they don't eat me.

[14] Could you forgive a boyfriend or girlfriend who physically hurt you?
What did they do? If they like, bit my ear off, or burst my carotid vein or artery or wahtever... probably not. But if they, say, dropped something on my foot I could get over it.

[15] What's your greatest fear in life?
FAILING AHHHHH

[16] Do you have a best friend?
Sure I have a lovely collection =]

[17] Are you afraid of death?
Nah, but I'd like a bit more life for now thankyou =]

[18] Do you think parents should stay together for the kids?
Hm... no cos it'd probably make everything else worse. But it'd be nice if htey loved each other enough to work things out as WELL as stay together for the kids. COS KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

[19] Can money buy happiness?
No, but nutella can.

[20] Are you looking forward to anything?
My eighteenth, exams being over, Sydney, holidays, hot cups of tea...

[21] Write some lyrics from the song you're listening ?
YOU SEXY THING YOU
No seriously, it's actually on the radio.

[22] Do you open up to people easily?
yeah, I don't do secrets. Well, thats a lie. But I don't do not being open. It's the best way to be.

[23] Has anyone gave you a compliment today?
Yes. It was 'you look very French'. And 'you smell good'. HOORAY

[24] What do your friends call you?
EM, Zyll, ranga.

[25] Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Um... nah =]

[26] What usually causes your relationships to end?
Nutella always comes first, people seem to have issues with that.
Also, the fact that I'm a man. Nah not really.

[27] Are you close to your parents?
Hm, sort of not really I don't know.

[28] What's the best thing about you?
My awesomeness and amazingness. And lack of fear to eat fatty fatty foods. And I spend money when I shop.

[29] Do you think you would be a good parent?
I can't say I've put much thought into it.

[30] Are you a forgiving person?
Yup! It's the best way to be.

[32] Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
Shanon!

[33] Where is the last place you went out to eat?
MACCAS. *sigh*

[34] Whats your favorite drink?
COFFEEEEEEEEEEE

[35] Do you miss anyone?
Uhh... not really =]

[36] What were you doing at 3 AM this morning?
PANICKING

[37] Who do you hate?
People who don't drive fast on the freeway.

[38] Who was the last person who was in your room?
ME.

[39] Is your room clean?
NEVERRRRRRRR

[40] What are you going to do tomorrow?
STUDY FOR CRIM AND BE A NERD RAWR

[41] What is in store for your future?
GOD KNOWS! No really =] He does. I'll worry about it later.

[42] Do you take care of your friends while they're sick?
Umm....it depends. =]

[43] When was the last time you purchased something over $500?
NEVER.

[44] Any tattoos?
NO WAY. TATTOOS ARE PAINFUL!

[45] Favorite color?
Blue and greeeeeeeen

[46] Who is your favorite person to have a serious conversation with?
Hmm, there's lots of those! I couldn't even begin to name them all, but they all know who they are. They cop it a lot!

[47] Who was driving the last time you were in a car?
ME

[48] What kind of digital camera brand do you have?
Non =[ it broke. Hopefully there's a new one awaiting me on my birthday!

[49] Does any part of your body hurt right now?
MY ACHING HEART.
Nah I'm kidding =]
My nose hurts from blowing it so much.

[50] How many tickets do you have?
HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHA
Oh dear

[51] Do you like coffee?
What kind of a question is that. It's more like 'is your body less than 50% coffee?' and the answer is no.

[52] Why are you doing this survey?
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED AND THEN WAKE UP TOMORROW AND STUDY SO I'M PUTTING IT OFF BY DOING THIS CRAPPY SURVEY WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT DEEP SO YOU LIED

[53] Who was the last person that texted you?
Uh.... *thinks hard* maddy, the girl I tutor? Or perhaps someone else. I do not know.

[54] What does your twelfth message in your inbox say?
Pfft I don't know. Probably something along the lines of 'emily you're so awesome if you weren't in my life it would be empty and meaningless'.
They're all pretty much the same.

[55] What are you craving?
NUTELLA

[56] Whats the closest red thing to you?
My hair. HAHAHHAHAHHAA

[57] What is the last pill you swallowed?
COLD AND FLU. I HAVE MORE AWAITING MY INGESTION.

[58] How did you sleep last night?
BADLY

[59] What was the first thing you thought this morning?
EW NAZIS

[60] What did you do last night?
WENT OUT TO DINNER AND WATCHED MOST OF SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION EXCEPT THE END COS THE DVD BROKE AND NOW I'M SAD

61] Do you think you will be married 3 years from now?
NO FREAKING WAY
EMILY DOES NOT DO COMMITMENT!

[63] What were you doing at 7 am?
SNORING

[64] Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer?
EH WHO CARES
EVEN IF THEY'D LASTED LONGER THEY'D HAVE ENDED ANYWAY!!!!!
POSITIVE MUCH!!

I AM YELLING LOUDLY IN THIS SURVEY!
YELL YELL YELL
RAWR RAWR RAWR

Sleepy time =]

How To Know Life Sucks

When you realize your exam timetable is NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS, and you in fact have a HISTORY EXAM BEFORE YOUR POLITICS EXAM and you have NOT STARTED STUDYING FOR THAT UNIT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS AFTERWARDS.

The world hates me.
It really does.

Stress levels multiplied by five hundred zillion.
Sleeping levels most definitely decreasing by five hundred zillion.

Lame lame lame lame lame.
And who is born in the middle of uni exams.
I mean really. Whose silly idea was it to make sure my birthday is RIGHT SMACK BANG IN THE MIDDLE of all the exams and I have THREE (ONE OF WHICH I HAVEN'T STARTED STUDYING FOR) AFTER my birthday!
*cries*

*but is calm at the sight of nutella. lots and lots of nutella*

studying

My brain is overloading with information it doesn't want to take in. Parties to offences, the European Union, elements of homicide, the consensus and majoritarian aspects of Australian Parliament, assaults and grievous bodily harm and I really just do not care.
I have pages and pages of notes lying all over my room and I can't bring myself to look at them. I just want to sit there with my jar of nutella and eat it all and get fat and become a spinster and do nothing all day.
Now that's the life for me.

But in other news, I turn 18 in eight days, which has snuck up on me because I did not expect it at all. Everything in my mind is either 'before exams' or 'exams' or 'after exams'. None of this 'birthday' stuff.

I'm excited about my Cocktail party, and buying a new dress, and having all my lovely people around to enjoy being lovely together.

But before then, I must memorize my verbs and know my sentence structures, and explain politics in multi choice form and write history essays and say why A B and C are guilty of some offence, or not guilty at all.

It's all too much for my little brain. But I am very excited about the new Soul to Sole dance.

Emily Contemplates

So I read a few other blogs, and I have to say, I'm quite jealous of their awesome writing style. And ability to take great pictures, and make their page look really awesome, and just generally be artistic and also, really honest. I usually come on here and write some pointless lists or something, which give me a cathartic feeling of a compartmentalized life (Emily's ultimate, although definitely not ideal way to be).

There's a lot of things I have been contemplating lately. Like why I don't study harder, why I let myself get distracted, why I'm here, right now, doing the stuff I do with the people around me and the rituals and routines I have. It's all quite interesting. In some ways it makes me sad, and in some ways it makes me happy.

There are a lot of things I neglect to do. I neglect God, first and foremost. I neglect my health and well being, I neglect my ability to study and be productive in the things that matter, and I neglect to tell the whole truth all the time.

There are a lot of things I do okay at. I'm a loyal friend (even if I'm constantly busy and can never do anything), I get okay marks at uni, I save an okay amount, I do an okay job at tutoring and my job.

But when it comes to the things I'm good at, I'm just not sure. I'm good at writing lists, I'm good at eating chocolate and I'm good at not doing what I'll say I'll do, because I'll get distracted, or I'll choose not to, or I'll forget, or a billion other excuses that aren't good enough.

Nevertheless, I've also determined a few other things. A) I want to get it right. B) I'm not so insecure that I'll start making choices and doing things that I don't want to. I may be a chronic people-pleaser, coupled with my (weird) lazy perfectionism, but my conscience and God help me to stay fairly true to myself and what I believe. C) I make mistakes, but I don't live with regret. Who has time enough for that.

So, to finish what wasn't meant to be a depressing post at all but has turned into one, on a happy note - life is pretty much one of the greatest things ever. I love the fact you can fill it with whatever you want: materialistic things like cheap clothes, shoes and jewelry; waste of time things like blogs, Facebook and MSN;productive things like study, learning, reading; fun things like movies, creating and going out; deep things like questioning, thinking and formulating answers; or nothing. And as much as I'm one of the most indecisive people I know, I don't live with regrets so if I just choose what I want to do and stop messing around, life will get done.
That is all.