Is it just me, or is Facebook getting just a little carried away with the number of groups you can like? (seeing as now becoming a fan is a thing of the past.)

Everytime I log on to facebook there is lists and lists of people who've 'liked cheese and eighteen other profiles.' Come on guys.

I'll admit some of them are really funny. Or particularly true: 'University - Working hard 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, 2 weeks a year.'

Although today I saw one that struck me: 'Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option.'
Despite thinking its a shame this point is a facebook profile because it cheapens it a lot, it hit me how true that is. And probably how it's high time that thought gets implemented. On the other hand, I also wondered how fair that really is. Bringing in another fabulous current reference, I adore How I Met Your Mother. I recently watched an episode about being on someone's hook, making a very similar point to the above, where if you're 'on the hook' you're prioritising someone who makes you their option, and if you're the person with the hook, you're being heartless and leaving this person dangling because it makes you feel better. Famous phrases include the really popular '...right now.' Anyway, it's all about being a pathetic puppy dog and hanging around because you hope it'll work out for you.

I'm just as guilty of this as anyone and it drives me crazy. I hate seeing it in myself, because really, everyone knows they deserve better than to be walked over again and again and keep sucking it up, trying over and over just to get spat on over and over. It has to stop.

Primarily because Facebook and How I Met Your Mother say so. But also because well, everyone deserves to have some degree of self-respect. And I think that's a good a starting point as any to get some.

Epistolary Narration.

Dear quiz nights,

You are a lot of fun. I hope we can be friends more often. Maybe even exchange gifts.

Call me.

Love Emily



Dear very cheap Diva outlet store,

I really love you, but you're stealing all my money. Stop being so reasonably priced and conveniently located, so my bank account and I can restore our more healthy and probably more long-term beneficial relationship.

I'll miss you.

Emily.



Dear Filing,

I don't care about you. No one cares about you. You are the worst thing ever created. All you do is inflict pain in my life; I have more paper cuts than I care to count, I think I'm going dyslexic from excessive exposure to your ordering system, and you're boring.

Go away.

Kind Regards,

Emily.



Dear Michigan,

I'll see you oh-so-soon!

Be waiting with lots of snow.

Love
Emily



Dear all the rude, manipulative people that mope when their little fantasy world doesn't go your way,

Please learn the art of smiling even if you are unhappy. Particularly when you are unhappy about something you have absolutely no right to be unhappy about. It is incredibly annoying to be a part of the manipulation of your creation when one's role is to be excluded from the fantasy world. And it is even more annoying when one refuses to comply with your ridiculous ideas, and try to have fun, and get nasty death glares. I refuse to stoop to your level. Man up and learn that if you try to create situations, they'll only let you down.

Sincerely,

Emily




Dear everyone else,

You're awesome.

Love
Emily.

I have to say, one of my favourite things about having applied for a uni overseas (besides, you know, getting the opportunity to live overseas for a while), is waking up every morning with a new email from them because of time difference shenanigans! It makes me feel loved, and excited.

That is all.

Oh Delicious.

If I could eat this for breakfast, I know I'd be having basically the best day I possibly could.

(Maybe minus the bananas...)

oh yes.

Amen, secret poster.

Just being lame.

Ignore me. anyway, Emily being lame and reflect-y......now.

Being a girl, I tend to be pretty moody. I can go through about four thousand different emotions within the space of a day. And no matter how much I try to track what triggers the changes, I can never work it out.

And you know what makes me very sad? Often the best way to overcome these things is to just block it out; start putting up walls and being all closed-off to the world so you don't get affected by anything. It's like living life all caught up in your head where real life just looks like a dream and feels like it can't touch you.

But it's probably likely being moody and feeling those moods is way more rewarding and more of a learning experience than blocking them out will ever be.

So...just need to suck it up I guess :)

taking ownership

There's a really great sense of power when you take ownership of your thoughts.

My headspace tends to be a bit of a no-go zone; it's like a war in there of many thoughts fighting each other at once. I often find myself so totally overwhelmed I physically can't do anything except sit down and let all that noise slowly drain away as I start to try process it all.

But that takes time. And time is something I don't have much of.

So, I've started trying to own my thoughts. Rejecting painful ones before they take over and ruin my day, prioritising random ones so I don't go out o control doing a million things at once, and giving up pointless ones so I don't waste my time, emotion and energy on stuff I don't want to matter to me anymore.

It's actually really tiring. It's a habit I find I'm getting into when I find myself lying awake at stupid hours of the morning with the war zone at its peak. But I think it's a good habit, and I feel really good after it. I can rediscover my motivation for the training and food commitments I set myself when I'm feeling stronger, I can actually read my cases and enjoy law, I can be realistic about my year away.
I'd recommend it.

Another lot of verbal blather.

Things always have a way of working out for the best :)

It's amazing what a little facebook stalking, a little honesty, a lot of new things and some focussed direction in your life can do.

Today I ran my first proper run not on a treadmill. Which for most people is probably like 'um you're lame', since it was only 4km, I had to walk about 500m of it because I have many a mental barrier, and well... it was only 4km. But I was so very proud of myself! It was really cold so I wore a jacket, but then I got about halfway through and was like OH MY GOD IT'S SO HOT I'M DYING. That was weird. I am in mega-butt-loads of pain now because real running surprisingly is a lot harder but more exhilarating than treadmill running, but I'm all excited for tomorrow morning! I'm unsure whether that makes me awesome or stupid.

As for the facebook stalking well, I'm pretty sure we're all guilty. And I'm pretty sure getting some self-esteem based on a little healthy comparison is a-okay. And seeing it pay off in real life has its benefits, even though they're a little matched with a bit of heartache. But mainly, benefits. This is a good step, Emily thinks. A very good step.

A little honesty? Well, I like avoiding things. And I've been doing some soul searching, and I think some things are okay to avoid. Sometimes you can't deal with everything, and it really can be okay to leave it. Some things don't need to be a big deal. Others do, and it makes you happier and stronger and more awesome as a result. It's been weird doing the honesty thing with people I'd have preferred not to, but I can decisively say it has worked out for the best for all parties. So that's been a nice little epiphany.

I know my blog posts are pretty boring, not pretty and mainly just me rambling. But I always have so many thoughts running around and chasing each other in my head, I need to get them out somewhere.

Some things I've realized this week:
* A random phone call can go a long way.
* When your shoes fall off when you're going upstairs, it's time to buy new ones.
* Time is a precious thing.
* Honesty with your friends is irreplaceable.
* Moving to America is going to be superbly awesome.

A Timeline:

* Admin Law Online Research Test - 3/5
* Ali's 21st - 14/5
* Tutoring children have exams - 17/5 - 26/5
* HBF mini run to prove I'm not crap - 23/5
* Uni finishes - 28/5
* Study Week - 31/5 - 4/6
* Mum's birthday - 5/6
* Admin law exam - 5/6
* Helen & TJ's engagement picnic - 6/6
* Property Law Exam - 5/6
* Equity Exam - 15/6
* Constitutional Law Exam - 16/6
* Finished law for a year!!!! - 16/6
* I turn 20 - 21/6
* Michelle & Caleb get hitched - 25/6
* I celebrate leaving Perth - TBA
* Scott & Sarah get hitched - 3/7
* Jessie turns 21 - 3/7
* Ben A turns 21 - 10/7
* Jarrad turns 17 - 10/7
* I get on a plane for America

:):) So thankfully, it's not so bad. Just many mega law exams and then... we're good!