Epistolary Narration.

Dear quiz nights,

You are a lot of fun. I hope we can be friends more often. Maybe even exchange gifts.

Call me.

Love Emily



Dear very cheap Diva outlet store,

I really love you, but you're stealing all my money. Stop being so reasonably priced and conveniently located, so my bank account and I can restore our more healthy and probably more long-term beneficial relationship.

I'll miss you.

Emily.



Dear Filing,

I don't care about you. No one cares about you. You are the worst thing ever created. All you do is inflict pain in my life; I have more paper cuts than I care to count, I think I'm going dyslexic from excessive exposure to your ordering system, and you're boring.

Go away.

Kind Regards,

Emily.



Dear Michigan,

I'll see you oh-so-soon!

Be waiting with lots of snow.

Love
Emily



Dear all the rude, manipulative people that mope when their little fantasy world doesn't go your way,

Please learn the art of smiling even if you are unhappy. Particularly when you are unhappy about something you have absolutely no right to be unhappy about. It is incredibly annoying to be a part of the manipulation of your creation when one's role is to be excluded from the fantasy world. And it is even more annoying when one refuses to comply with your ridiculous ideas, and try to have fun, and get nasty death glares. I refuse to stoop to your level. Man up and learn that if you try to create situations, they'll only let you down.

Sincerely,

Emily




Dear everyone else,

You're awesome.

Love
Emily.