Change comes in all various forms.

For example, I've become a skirts-wearing person.

Just saying.

Weekends are so great

I really do love the weekend. Top points about this weekend just past:

* I didn't study one bit!
* Kat's hen's night was so fabulous.
* So was the shirt, I'm wearing it as I type. I've never worn something so pink in my life.
* Camp meeting went really well. Although I'm a bit nervous, as I'm running a dorm, a session and three activities. The people don't even know me!!
* Bali plans are coming together. Cute orphans in need of loving, here I come!
* There are some people who just make life smiley. I spent lots of time with these types of people this weekend.
* San Churros is a winner. always.
* Fun conversations on the jetty.
* Watching Glee episodes and wishing my life was exactly like theirs!
* JARRAD
* Knowing I can totally get all my study done in time. Totally.
* Dancing for the mpk kids. Oh man they are so cute. I just wanted to squeeze their cheeks. And they all joined in the dance too, which was the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
* Lots of coffee.
* Insanely cute stuffed toys.
* Chocolate cake!

And now... nine minutes until study begins.
What a depressing countdown.

Addition

Don't ask me why, but when I googled 'why life is awesome', the link that came up was 10 Awesome Reasons Why Addition is Important in your Life.

They are:
.: Shopping
.: Computers and Calculators
.: Ordering
.: Real Numbers
.: Arithmetic
.: In literature and daily living
.: Building a family (??????????? I know right?????)
.: Ballet, Opera, etc.
.: Services
.: Birthdays, Calendars and events.

No offence to the people who made this site, but these reasons are not awesome, nor are they particularly awe-inspiring, or encourage a greater love of maths. They are actually kind of lame.

Just saying.

Whinge

I have never cared this little for a uni assignment in my life.

Helloooooo no sleep!

Something Ridiculous

Today, I became a true dole bludger. I'm receiving the $950 bonus (yes that stimulus package payment). Now. In October. Nine months after it was actually announced.

I think this is absolutely ridiculous. Do I need $950? No. (Not to say I don't want it.) Am I going to spend that $950 and 'stimulate' the economy? No. It is going straight into my savings. The only effect it will have is in the US or Indonesia. No love for the Australian economy.

Also today, I saw a spray tan salon, whose motto was 'safe and natural.' Um....spray tan? Natural? Whatever.

Also also today, I saw on the bus on a big bulky guy in one of those fluoro yellow shirts who looked so manly he might just explode with testosterone. He was enormous. Then I noticed he was reading a book on Michael Jackson. Weird. Then I noticed he had a Weight watchers meal in his bag. Weird. Then I noticed he carried his bag like a handbag. Extra weird. I wonder what it's like being him.

self-obsession

I read a lot of the pretty, crafty blogs out there because they make me happy. There's lots of beautifully taken photos, creative and simple ideas, and really refreshing and calming posts about various, simple things in life.

Sometimes I'm sad my life isn't like that. I don't just sit around all day with my sole purpose to go to the post office and then make something for my mum/best friend/other. I can't sleep in and then just enjoy an unplanned and quiet day. Every second of my day is usually scheduled or at least partially scheduled a week or so in advance. I have classes to go to, study to do, essays to write/procrastinate about, work, tutoring, Salt, dance, socializing, family time, coffee to drink, the gym and sorting out the ridiculous dramas that seem to currently define me. Some of the time, I really resent it all. I want to be able to not set an alarm every morning so I can hurry through every second of the day to get stuff done and then not really appreciate the day for what it was. Or, choose not to do everything I need to do but have that nagging feeling of guilt whirling around my head. I'd love to be able to give more of myself to help people, and see people, and love people.

At the same time, I love productiveness. I think I was programmed with ambition and (occasionally present) motivation to be organized and get stuff done. I like to jam pack my day with a thousand different things, and I like opening my diary and seeing it all written in full the things I have to do, and the ticks or lines through the things I've already done. I like to feel accomplished and like I've succeeded with my time. But I suppose sometimes it's really important to slow down.

I'm really good at beating myself up about things. In particular, caring about other people; I never feel like I do it enough. I can never give all of myself to making sure everyone else is okay. At the moment, my brain is so self-absorbed with all this crap I can barely look at other people sometimes. And that is a really unhealthy and unsatisfying way to be.

And so, I have set myself a goal. After exams (because uni really does have priority), I will slow down a bit. These may just be empty words, because I make myself busy even if I'm not. But when you are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, everything-ly exhausted, it might be the best time to force it. I will stop drinking five coffees a day and embrace the other fun parts of life. It will be summer, and there's the beach and billions of people who need loving everywhere.

Yeah

My dad is so awesome. Just saying.

The Bus

In theory, if you get a seat on the 78, it's meant to be a sign of a good day. Or at least a productive one. But it is 8:02am and I'm already procrastinating.

I am amused by the pattern my lipstick makes on my coffee cup.

Sunshine

I really am a drama queen. Ah well, sometimes it's warranted. Or even healthy. Maybe not healthy. I don't know.

So not very long before exams, so so so much to do. And all I really want to do is laze on the beach.

healthy.

And we're back here again!

cannot be

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

The Fray//All At Once

Cryptic lives

And crash, the wall is back.

Friends, am I making sense? Or should you slap me around the face?

but being shallow is good for you.

Ah the sun! It makes me feel like that picture. amazingly.
I love you, hope.

although I am still shallow

My new favourite video! Why? It has (in no particular order):
* Fat people
* Dancing
* Horrible horrible outfits
* Awkward moments
* Lack of shame
* Crap dance music
* People falling over

What more could you want??

of something new and great

Oh being busy how I love you.

I've realized that replacing memories is a fun, important and special process. Although sometimes very hard.

Seeing the sun is so lovely!

Maybe this can be the start

Finally sleep has come.

But little change, little change.