new again

I love the sensation of a fresh start. It has to be one of my favourite feelings in the whole world. The cool thing about it is it can come with a big of sadness, or happiness, or fear, or excitement, or regret, or calmness, but no matter what, you know you're starting again and you can't turn back. I think it's fairly special.

Coming home from Sydney is really challenging me in a lot of ways. Hillsong Conference was such a fantastic experience, and I had so many revelations from God about what He can do for us. He literally washed me clean, He restored my faith and hope and He totally confirmed that it is all not at all about me. He gave me this insatiable desire to read His word, and to talk about Him. It was awesome.

Then on the flight home, I made friends with the person sitting next to me, and I felt myself slipping back into the old person I was. The cool thing was, that they'd addressed this at the conference - slipping back isn't me failing, it's just me choosing to change. All I had to do was say 'No, I'm not changing, my faith is in Jesus and I want to be like him' and it was cool again. Of course, it's a ridiculously slow process, but nevertheless - a fresh start.

It was weird waking up the next day and suddenly having to be under the rules of a house, instead of doing what I felt like, as well as what Ali did. But generally, I could walk down the street, grab a coffee, read the Bible, shop a bit - all without having to think about what others expected me to do. It's something I'm learning to adjust to within the whole Servant Heart attitude.

I am doing a big clean out of my room - one of my favourite fresh starts. Getting rid of the things I pointlessly hoard, tidying up and reorganizing, putting what's important in front of me. Cleaning out my drawers and giving stuff away - I just want to give everything away all of a sudden. I'm sick of having an excess of things I don't need - thank God for that revelation. He's the ultimate provider, and if we want to be like Him, we better start providing for other people. Selfishness is so pointless. A hard habit to break, but still - another fresh start.

Finally, I got to drink Starbucks, eat Krispy Kreme, worship with 20 000 people from all over the world, eat bagels, buy matching things, grow closer with Jesus, learn to be more honest with my friends, write letters, buy exciting stationery and become more convicted about my life's plan. Pretty awesome fresh start in my opinion!