Today Tonight is the greatest

So, seeing as Today Tonight is the height of ground-breaking, investigative journalism, bringing stories that have impact and immediacy and etc etc, I figured I'd talk about the five minute segment I caught tonight. How, according to the excellent show's AMAZING research, they discovered five of the remaining competitors on Australian Idol are affiliated with Hillsong Church.

I know. Take a few seconds to wipe your forehead and breathe and absorb this scandalous piece of information.

The best part is yet to come. Today Tonight managed to put their fabulous intelligence to use and make the very logical conclusion that HILLSONG CHURCH IS OUT TO CORRUPT AUSTRALIAN IDOL AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Yup. I know. Your world is falling apart all around you hey? You totally agree with what they're saying. I mean, Australian Idol isn't a corrupt competition all on its own. No way. And oh my goodness, Hillsong NEED to control the winner of Australian Idol, because whoever that is will BE THE BEST SELLING ARTIST IN AUSTRALIA FOREVER AND BE FOREVER REMEMBERED AND BOWED DOWN TO and of COURSE, EVERYONE WILL COME FLOCKING INTO HILLSONG CHURCH BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE THEY ARE FROM.

It just gets more convincing hey? The pastor telling his congregation, or 'flock' as they like to call it, to vote for a particular contestant - heaven forbid! Showing support for someone? How dare they! Really! Just because they support the same views! I'm disgusted at the thought. Because the DIRECT RESULT of that support for a contestant will see them win the Australian Idol competition and become world famous and rich and brainwash Australia into becoming unthinking Christian automatons.

The best demonstration were the two people who Today Tonight interviewed. Really - they were brainwashed by Hillsong for EIGHT YEARS, all because they got involved with the church and couldn't think for themselves and have an opinion because they 'felt' Hillsong was telling them to do the right thing.

So, of course, this all means that Hillsong is a cult-like institution where the Pastors aim to take over the world through really important mediums like Australian Idol. They deserve to be locked up for such terrible views. Fancy a church choosing to support certain competitors on a semi-popular TV show. And fancy them telling the other people who go to vote for them. Because noone can think for themselves, no way. That is just a crazy thought.

I now have total faith in Today Tonight. I'm so glad they exposed to me this damning information, so I too can realize that Australian Idol and Hillsong are actually run by outerspace aliens who are really trying to take over Australia through brainwashing and cultlike practices. I'm going to start my own campaign to save everyone else before it is too late.