sixteen

Tomorrow.

I'm excited.
Sixteen opens you up to a lot.
Like driving.
And respect.

Sixteen gets more respect than fifteen.

I like how this year has gone.
Better than last year.

I fit in better.
And I stand out more.

I miss some friendships.
But I've gained so much out of new ones.

I hate how I've been lying to myself.
I love how I've discovered so much more of myself.

I hate that I haven't been acheiving the top.
But I'm satisfied with other things I've been involved in.

I love the groups of people I know.

I love the confidence I'm getting.

I love being known as 'the nice one'.

I love my job.

I love debating.

I love my dress sense - not that it's particularly beautiful, but it's me and I'm proud of it.

I love being able to pay for my own things.

I like who I'm becoming. Becoming being the key term here - I have a long way to go. But I've come a long way.

I love my bus.

I'm absolutely terrified of my future because everything I ever wanted to do was completely crushed today. That scares me a lot. That documentary hit me like nothing really has before - I think because it attacked parts of me that hadn't been attacked before.

But in a way I kind of like having to reevaluate everything.

It means I don't hold on to anything I don't need to.

So yeah.

I'm excited.

Very excited.