Cool People

My new theory is that Cool People are as much a subset of the human race, like white people and Asians. As I now share an office with a Cool Person and have spent a fair chunk of life observing them from afar, at church (you laugh now, but trust me) and school, I believe I am certified to give you a run down of the Cool People.

Cool People don't even have to say 'Hi I'm Cool.' They can just walk into a room and people KNOW. It is even more obvious than a mullet or wearing a stupid shirt. Cool just radiates from them.

Cool People speak Coolspeak. Every thing they say, no matter how nice or snobbish or stupid or smart or ridiculous it sounds, is cool. It is the most obvious discourse there is. You probably won't understand some of the things they say if you are a lesser mortal like myself. Coolspeak is beyond the best of us.

Cool People have a Cool Vibe. Similar to having cool radiate from them, one can almost sense a cool person coming four or five seconds before they see them. The Vibe is that strong. so strong it even needs capitalization.

Cool People will make you nervous and flustered for no reason other than you are in awe of being in company with a cool person. It is slowly starting to wear off me, but as I've had a break from Mr. Cool for today, tomorrow in the office will be major nervous-flustered time.

Cool People are just generally fabulous, and even if they're not fabulous, they make you think they're fabulous. Or you think 'they're not fabulous at all' but you pretend to think their fabulous otherwise you won't have any friends.

Cool People mean you can be mean behind their backs, but still secretly wish you were like them.

The end.