apartments...?

Finally finding some places for when I get to move here...




This place?? (although it's ridiculously not affordable. :( )





Orrr this place? (Slightly more affordable...)







Orrr, all things going to plan...



I get I room here. =D

I totally just rediscovered my very special talent of writing piles of pretentious (pardon me) wank and somehow getting away with it.

Why didn't I decide to major in English instead of Political Science?? Oh the very many HDs I threw away...


P.S. Glee, I don't know how you did it, but I now adore Lady Gaga. Listen!!! (Sorry no watching... I'm not a dedicated youtuber and can't be bothered finding the actual video...)

Okay, a mini panic. I currently no longer have a place to live in Michigan, and my units are all full already with mega long waiting lists. I haven't finished UWA exams, I haven't gone to the gym in about five thousand years, I suddenly got too many bills in one go, and I really just can't think of any way to convince anyone to let me be on Glee and never go to uni again.

*sigh*

It will be fine. Many deep breaths.

Only three law units left to complete this year....hooray!

Hens nights are fun.

People who know how to use apostrophes properly are fun.

Building a Wall-E out of blocks of cement is fun. Also pretty stupid.

Sitting on the couch with almost-family for many hours is fun.

Studying is not fun.

Cold toes are very not fun.

The end.

Emily just felt the burn of checking Facebook taking greater importance than talking to her for five seconds when her exam was crap and she hadn't seen the other person in months.

Don't worry, I get it.

Fourteen hours until exam number one.

I feel oddly calm. I'm gunning for a high, distinction (as in, upper 70s, not over 80 because, well, the UWA Law school likes to crush souls and never lets anyone get a real HD unless you're superhuman).

I give myself fifteen minutes until real freak out time.

But on the plus side... only 12 days until exams are entirely over, and I can start booking flights, working more, paying an obscene amount of money for a student visa for the US (far out guys, why do you hate Australians so much??? :( ) and getting all excited about being cold a lot! And sitting in a sports stadium for over 100 000 people. This is probably the most exciting part to me.

And hopefully getting rocking awesome uni marks in the meantime. I hope. A lot. Even though it mathematically can't happen.

Opinions?

Is it a sad sad reflection on myself, that upon receiving an email informing me and my fellow U-Michigan attender of our pending visas, that I immediately attempted to facebook stalk and google her?

Am I that terribly dependent on technology and a perverse need to know far too much about an individual before I meet them so I can work out if they're a serial killer/cooler than me?

Well. Yes, I suppose I am. It's what keeps Facebook chugging, right?

UPDATE: All I found out is she won an academic merit award in High School. Lame. I couldn't even find a photo!

Okay another update: I met her and she's awesome. No worries Google, I don't need you anymore!

Bahahaha I love it.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but I don't really believe in soulmates. It doesn't make any sense. There is no one person. There is no one perfect friend. I would go more in depth, but anyway, here's a cute comic I agree with. And it has funny bugs in it.

http://www.bugcomic.com/comics/soulmate/

What's your opinion on soulmates?

Is it just me, or is Facebook getting just a little carried away with the number of groups you can like? (seeing as now becoming a fan is a thing of the past.)

Everytime I log on to facebook there is lists and lists of people who've 'liked cheese and eighteen other profiles.' Come on guys.

I'll admit some of them are really funny. Or particularly true: 'University - Working hard 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, 2 weeks a year.'

Although today I saw one that struck me: 'Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option.'
Despite thinking its a shame this point is a facebook profile because it cheapens it a lot, it hit me how true that is. And probably how it's high time that thought gets implemented. On the other hand, I also wondered how fair that really is. Bringing in another fabulous current reference, I adore How I Met Your Mother. I recently watched an episode about being on someone's hook, making a very similar point to the above, where if you're 'on the hook' you're prioritising someone who makes you their option, and if you're the person with the hook, you're being heartless and leaving this person dangling because it makes you feel better. Famous phrases include the really popular '...right now.' Anyway, it's all about being a pathetic puppy dog and hanging around because you hope it'll work out for you.

I'm just as guilty of this as anyone and it drives me crazy. I hate seeing it in myself, because really, everyone knows they deserve better than to be walked over again and again and keep sucking it up, trying over and over just to get spat on over and over. It has to stop.

Primarily because Facebook and How I Met Your Mother say so. But also because well, everyone deserves to have some degree of self-respect. And I think that's a good a starting point as any to get some.

Epistolary Narration.

Dear quiz nights,

You are a lot of fun. I hope we can be friends more often. Maybe even exchange gifts.

Call me.

Love Emily



Dear very cheap Diva outlet store,

I really love you, but you're stealing all my money. Stop being so reasonably priced and conveniently located, so my bank account and I can restore our more healthy and probably more long-term beneficial relationship.

I'll miss you.

Emily.



Dear Filing,

I don't care about you. No one cares about you. You are the worst thing ever created. All you do is inflict pain in my life; I have more paper cuts than I care to count, I think I'm going dyslexic from excessive exposure to your ordering system, and you're boring.

Go away.

Kind Regards,

Emily.



Dear Michigan,

I'll see you oh-so-soon!

Be waiting with lots of snow.

Love
Emily



Dear all the rude, manipulative people that mope when their little fantasy world doesn't go your way,

Please learn the art of smiling even if you are unhappy. Particularly when you are unhappy about something you have absolutely no right to be unhappy about. It is incredibly annoying to be a part of the manipulation of your creation when one's role is to be excluded from the fantasy world. And it is even more annoying when one refuses to comply with your ridiculous ideas, and try to have fun, and get nasty death glares. I refuse to stoop to your level. Man up and learn that if you try to create situations, they'll only let you down.

Sincerely,

Emily




Dear everyone else,

You're awesome.

Love
Emily.

I have to say, one of my favourite things about having applied for a uni overseas (besides, you know, getting the opportunity to live overseas for a while), is waking up every morning with a new email from them because of time difference shenanigans! It makes me feel loved, and excited.

That is all.

Oh Delicious.

If I could eat this for breakfast, I know I'd be having basically the best day I possibly could.

(Maybe minus the bananas...)

oh yes.

Amen, secret poster.

Just being lame.

Ignore me. anyway, Emily being lame and reflect-y......now.

Being a girl, I tend to be pretty moody. I can go through about four thousand different emotions within the space of a day. And no matter how much I try to track what triggers the changes, I can never work it out.

And you know what makes me very sad? Often the best way to overcome these things is to just block it out; start putting up walls and being all closed-off to the world so you don't get affected by anything. It's like living life all caught up in your head where real life just looks like a dream and feels like it can't touch you.

But it's probably likely being moody and feeling those moods is way more rewarding and more of a learning experience than blocking them out will ever be.

So...just need to suck it up I guess :)

taking ownership

There's a really great sense of power when you take ownership of your thoughts.

My headspace tends to be a bit of a no-go zone; it's like a war in there of many thoughts fighting each other at once. I often find myself so totally overwhelmed I physically can't do anything except sit down and let all that noise slowly drain away as I start to try process it all.

But that takes time. And time is something I don't have much of.

So, I've started trying to own my thoughts. Rejecting painful ones before they take over and ruin my day, prioritising random ones so I don't go out o control doing a million things at once, and giving up pointless ones so I don't waste my time, emotion and energy on stuff I don't want to matter to me anymore.

It's actually really tiring. It's a habit I find I'm getting into when I find myself lying awake at stupid hours of the morning with the war zone at its peak. But I think it's a good habit, and I feel really good after it. I can rediscover my motivation for the training and food commitments I set myself when I'm feeling stronger, I can actually read my cases and enjoy law, I can be realistic about my year away.
I'd recommend it.

Another lot of verbal blather.

Things always have a way of working out for the best :)

It's amazing what a little facebook stalking, a little honesty, a lot of new things and some focussed direction in your life can do.

Today I ran my first proper run not on a treadmill. Which for most people is probably like 'um you're lame', since it was only 4km, I had to walk about 500m of it because I have many a mental barrier, and well... it was only 4km. But I was so very proud of myself! It was really cold so I wore a jacket, but then I got about halfway through and was like OH MY GOD IT'S SO HOT I'M DYING. That was weird. I am in mega-butt-loads of pain now because real running surprisingly is a lot harder but more exhilarating than treadmill running, but I'm all excited for tomorrow morning! I'm unsure whether that makes me awesome or stupid.

As for the facebook stalking well, I'm pretty sure we're all guilty. And I'm pretty sure getting some self-esteem based on a little healthy comparison is a-okay. And seeing it pay off in real life has its benefits, even though they're a little matched with a bit of heartache. But mainly, benefits. This is a good step, Emily thinks. A very good step.

A little honesty? Well, I like avoiding things. And I've been doing some soul searching, and I think some things are okay to avoid. Sometimes you can't deal with everything, and it really can be okay to leave it. Some things don't need to be a big deal. Others do, and it makes you happier and stronger and more awesome as a result. It's been weird doing the honesty thing with people I'd have preferred not to, but I can decisively say it has worked out for the best for all parties. So that's been a nice little epiphany.

I know my blog posts are pretty boring, not pretty and mainly just me rambling. But I always have so many thoughts running around and chasing each other in my head, I need to get them out somewhere.

Some things I've realized this week:
* A random phone call can go a long way.
* When your shoes fall off when you're going upstairs, it's time to buy new ones.
* Time is a precious thing.
* Honesty with your friends is irreplaceable.
* Moving to America is going to be superbly awesome.

A Timeline:

* Admin Law Online Research Test - 3/5
* Ali's 21st - 14/5
* Tutoring children have exams - 17/5 - 26/5
* HBF mini run to prove I'm not crap - 23/5
* Uni finishes - 28/5
* Study Week - 31/5 - 4/6
* Mum's birthday - 5/6
* Admin law exam - 5/6
* Helen & TJ's engagement picnic - 6/6
* Property Law Exam - 5/6
* Equity Exam - 15/6
* Constitutional Law Exam - 16/6
* Finished law for a year!!!! - 16/6
* I turn 20 - 21/6
* Michelle & Caleb get hitched - 25/6
* I celebrate leaving Perth - TBA
* Scott & Sarah get hitched - 3/7
* Jessie turns 21 - 3/7
* Ben A turns 21 - 10/7
* Jarrad turns 17 - 10/7
* I get on a plane for America

:):) So thankfully, it's not so bad. Just many mega law exams and then... we're good!

It makes me sad that when uni goes crazy, all the things I like in life go on the backburner; my health, friends, favourite TV shows, dance, netball, church, sitting in my spa, planning for my life away...
But, uni has ceased being a crazy bitch!! It is joyful.

Life has gone crazy though; I have three new tutoring students, I'm working an extra half day a week, I'm committing to a new dance class weekly, it's exams in a couple of weeks.... and the most fun part, planning Michigan :)

So, things were lame for a while, and now they are slowly improving... I'll just keep on keeping on and keep doing my best to not let anyone get me down.

P.S. Keep June 27th free :) And if you're female, do yourself a favour and buy chocolate body butter. It's the ultimate healthy way to go - your skin is awesome, you don't eat chocolate because you can satisfy your cravings by smelling your arm (although you do end up looking like a dork) and you don't gain weight! It's probably my favourite purchase of all time.

My Thursday Night Date

Jealous, right?

Oh no, it's freakout time!!!

I'm rather very excited it's week eight of semester; even though that means I have almost eight weeks of content to catch up on in four very tricky units... it's all okay! In three months, I begin a new, exciting adventure. Just trying to stay forward-focussed right now. I refuse to let the right-now get too much and overwhelm me to the point of being paralysing.

Just saying.

The Cycle...

Of when you have your heart ripped out, shredded to pieces, spat on, rolled in the dirt and handed back to you:

* Sob in the shower/into your pillow/intermittently for 1 - 6 days.
* Beg to undo the damage approximately twice a day.
* Get angry and throw stuff.
* Stop eating.
* Block it out and keep insanely busy.
* Remember and go back to the sobbing.
* Block it out again.
* Drink.
* Get really super angry.
* Resume eating, in one bite-per-day diet form.
* Sob in the back of a car.
* Shake it off.
* Put on a fabulous outfit.
* Get out with quality people.
* Shop.
* Cry.
* Eat some chocolate.
* Wake up one morning realizing it is, surprisingly, better this new way.
* Do a massive gym workout, wash your hair, clean your face and refuse to continue sobbing.
* Throw yourself back into study/work/life with a timed schedule that doesn't let you even consider for one second all the crap.
* Realize it's slowly leaving your head anyway. Be open to relapses. But know that it's getting better. And:
* Win. At everything.

In Four Months...

This will be my home:

Once again, my expectations were too high.

Slap me if this happens again, friends, it's getting exhausting.

Emily talks about nothing for a post...

Happy Easter my darlings :)

Thus far, I have slept in until a dog jumped on my make-shift bed (the couch) and the sun came spilling through very open windows looking out to the bush, I read some of a book, ate a fantastic hot cross bun, some bacon and eggs, hid from all the noise, did some Constitutional Law notes (almost done topic two of four so far...), ran the epic Chocolate Bunny Quest for twelve kids and watched a very average game of 500s.

To come: a trip to Simmos, watching the Dockers v Essendon game, more games of 500s, more Constitutional Law notes, a LOT of chocolate and hopefully a visit to the beach.

I bought the most amazing body moisturiser from the chocolate factory. It actually makes me want to eat my arm.
And, even better, I bought a new dress - a bargain of $70 down to $40, and all fabulous for upcoming 21sts and other celebrations.

And that is a fairly dull recount of my time downsouth... so looking forward to being home, although this house is like, more luxurious than most people's normal homes. Anyone want to come back here with me??

I think the hardest thing is knowing the line. Where you should stop before burning out, where you should push to before giving in, where you should push yourself before knowing you won't be able to handle it.
I've been spending much time trying to find my line.

Yay Netball

Team sports are the best! I love them! I played netball for the first time in three years last night and it was awesome =D And having a cheer squad and everything is awesome!
Hooray! Although I'm surprised that considering I go to the gym a stupid amount, I'm still in a bit of pain. What the heck!

And onwards...

So, in around or just under four months, I'm going to be moving to the United States.

I'm sharing slowly. Not many people read this, so I figured this can be my initial audience. If this doesn't jinx things, and U-Michigan still love me in a few weeks, I'll move onto sharing with Facebook =P

tolerance.

In my opinion, tolerance is the major element of any relationship. No matter how much you'll think you have in common with someone, there will be very large amounts of stuff you don't have in common. And I think it's how you deal with those parts that define whether or not a relationship, whatever form it may be, will be successful.

For example, I happen to like law. A lot. I enjoy thinking about it, and trying to understand it and working out how all the jurisdictions fit together. I'll often complain about stuff I read I didn't understand, or I'll try explain that having to write judges notes, when I'm a third year law student, on advanced articles regarding psychiatric injury and the potential future overlap of NSW and WA Civil Liability Acts in terms of a duty of care and its requirements, is really unfair but surprisingly fun. Of course, I try to restrict how much I talk about substantive law, as opposed to just 'oh I went to uni and saw this ridiculous thing while I was in a law tute' kind of thing. That kind of law discussion is a bit different. But I really really enjoy the substantive law stuff.

There's a person I spend a lot of time with, and they do not like law. They couldn't care less about law, or mooting, or Trial Ad, or the potential overlap of CLAs. But what's nice is they try to care. Or they at least let me rant on for quite a while before saying 'aaaannnddd stopping time!' I think that's what makes it nice to spend time with people; when you learn to care about their passion, and they learn to care about yours. Even if secretly you/they hate it a lot.

So really, in sum, I think relationships, be it friendship or otherwise, thrive better when there's tolerance. I can't decide if the cycle starts where you're tolerant of someone because you like them, or because you're being tolerant, you find you like them more, but either way, it makes you happier:) And if you decide you aren't tolerant of something someone's passionate about, likely you aren't going to get along with them very well. Maybe it's a sign.

And... there ends my tolerance reflection. Law-time!

Hello change!!
:)

An equation.

Stress + chocolate - gym = A lower number on the scales.

WEIRD!

Rawr.

Snowed under much?!

New things I'm starting: Netball, mentoring, Jump (not starting but only JUST starting), more tutoring students, Trial Advocacy, running Open Mooting aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand a stackload of new coffee buddies.

Fun!!!

My diary literally cannot keep up with my life at the moment.
I've never been in such a state of almost constant happiness and contentedness as I am right now!

There are ups and downs. Sometimes I feel a bit lameface. But most of the time this whole crazy adventure is just keeping me so excited!!! Even the littlest things are keeping me bouncing off walls!

So yes. In sum. I'm busy. I'm happy. I'm full of hope. The end!! :)

One resolution down! Feeling pretty fantastic this morning.

How quickly things turn upside down... it is very exciting. But a little scary. And sometimes a little bit sad. But mostly exciting.

Oh life and your endless possibilities!

I am a BALL OF RAGE right now!

Why I Am Fairly Certain I Can Time Travel

I tend to think a lot of very weird things. Lately all the Facebook groups have made me feel a little calmer because apparently the whole world thinks the same things... But anyway, my latest thing is I'm pretty sure I can time travel. Only in the mornings, between about 5:30 and 7:15, but it totally happens. Basically, I wake up, and it's normally 5:38am. I get ready, get dressed, throw my gym bag together and when I get in the car, it's only 5:43am, even though it took me far longer than five minutes to get ready. I arrive at the gym around 5:50am, walk in, but suddenly it's 6:00am and I start to panic because I only have one hour. Anyway, I'll be working out and have done 20 minutes on the treadmill and it will be only 6:15am. Then I do twenty minutes on the bike and it's 6:40am. I do my weights etc. outside, and it'll be 6:45am when I finish, even though they took me at LEAST fifteen minutes. Then I get in the car and it's 7:00 and I have to speed home to get ready for work on time.

Basically, I'm amazing. I have superior skills.

I know there is a logical explanation for this, but DON'T TELL ME, I prefer to think I can time travel.

Happy Valentine's Day

So despite what you're meant to say about Valentine's Day, I actually kind of like the idea. I know it is over-commercialised and American and lame and you should show love any day of the year blah-blah-blah but can anyone tell me honestly that if their significant other didn't do anything AT ALL on Valentine's Day, you wouldn't feel at all bothered by it? I agree it is all over-commercialised, American, lame and you should show love more often than once a year - but then we should also show we love our parents more often than one day a year. I think it's good to do at least something small; recognise the day exists, recognise you like/love/whatever each other; use it as another day and another opportunity in amongst many to show how you feel. Just because the day exists doesn't mean you should ignore it over some moral high ground. It doesn't need to be a massive day.

Anyway, after a simultaneously really lovely and absolutely terrible start to today, I was sitting around feeling fat and sorry for myself as occasionally happens. I saw on Facebook someone had posted a link to a song I posted a while back here. I still love it. And they had dedicated it to all the single people on Happy Feeling Like Crap Because No one Cares About You Day. So, I'm dedicating it to those of you who, like me, are not in a relationship and feeling a little lonely (as if you don't feel a little lonely on Valentine's Day - I'm admitting it to the strange and unknown world of the internet, at least admit it to yourself). It's happy and bright. It'll give you hope.

Hope you've all eaten a bit of chocolate, whether it was of the Valentine's gift type, or the I-hate-being-lonely type. Both make you feel a little better.

Meat v salad

You know what really makes me angry? Well, there are a lot of things. And I tend to use the word 'angry' inappropriately and out of context. However, this really does make me angry. There are a lot of delicious foods in the world. Like, a LOT of delicious foods. For example, meat. Meat is about the greatest thing in the world. Men especially are allowed to LOVE meat. They can just eat a whole plate of meat and it's fine. In fact, it's better than fine because they are demonstrating their manliness. But because I'm a girl, I'm supposed to like salad. And not just any salad, but pretentious salad, with weird things that shouldn't even be in salad. Like watermelon and lettuce with cheese. Or have really lame dressing that's like, oil but with flecks of some random herb grown in one square metre of a place in Africa that only grows every two years, and is an acquired yet definitiely sophisticated taste. What the heck. So I hate going out to dinner and seeing awesome meals like extra massive rare beef with a side of meat, and feeling like I should order a lite stir-fry with chicken, because chicken is a woman's meat. And stirfry has more vegetables than meat anyway. And then requesting rice noodles because they're the healthy option. RARGH.

Wow I'm getting really worked up on this one.

Catchphrases

In my personal quest to become the most ridiculous and embarrassing person on the planet earth, I have begun having mental catchphrases to get me through certain situations. I have some for when I'm craving really bad food, I have some for when I'm working myself into a panic over something I have no control over (I have about fifty for these scenarios because it basically happens every minute of everyday for me), I have some for when I'm feeling particularly unmotivated about certain activities such as the gym or filing and I have some for when I'm feeling really happy and awesome and on top of things so I can hold onto that feeling as long as possible. As lame as it is, I also think it's really awesome. I would highly recommend it. I'm not going to share my mental catchphrases because they are so embarrassing I'd die if anyone knew them. But if you struggle with something, catchphrases are freaking awesome with keeping you focussed.

By the way, fun fact: a cup of tea has 16 calories. A flat white/latte can have around 124 calories. How crazy is that???

Sometimes you build things up a little bit too much in your mind. Pretty much guaranteed to be a let down.

Why I Love Reality TV:

> SOB STORIES: I LOVE AUDITIONS WITH SOB STORIES!!!!! They are SO FANTASTIC!!!! Jordan & I have cooked up some sob stories for if we ever find the occasion to audition for a reality show. My personal favourite was from last season's SYTYCD: the girl was dyslexic and couldn't tell her right from her left. Oh please. As if that'll let you through.

> EVERYONE CRIES. It's very cathartic. Even though I'm not crying, I feel like I have.

> THERE'S ALL THIS SUCCESS!!!! People lose weight! People dance awesome! People hear really cool stuff!

> CRITICIZING HOSTS! Natalie Bassingthwaite, wow you're annoying. And Hayley, your'e just as crap as AJ, without being as awesome as her. I love letting out all my inner rage at them. it's so satisfying.

> Idiots who audition. Your parents lied to you. Seriously. You're really bad.

> All the things you learn.

> When you get to know the people who get to the end of the show - the top ten really, cos you know all their names and feel like they're your friends.

> Oh they're all so dramatic!!! I love it!!!

> The slang and the lingo! Things like chore and weigh-ins, and 'going to Sydney', and last-chance training. Love it. Love it love it love it.

What I've Learnt While Housesitting:

:: It is an excellent time to test out and establish new fantastic life routines
:: Hanging out with new and different people is an excellent adventure
:: Cooking often doesn't go to plan
:: Staying home is overrated
:: Having a dog that loves you when you come home is quite nice :)
:: Freedom is good
:: Leaves suck
:: If you don't quite meet a certain goal, almost reaching it can be very satisfying too
:: Work is overrated
:: Fremantle people are my favourite
:: I've started to associate certain smells with certain activities. For example, the scent of the soap at the Thrifts is intricately linked with the occasional disaster of failed contacts-insertion. so whenever I smell my hands I get phantom pain in my eye. It's weird.
:: Curling hair is fun
:: Trying new things is a good thing to do
:: People always surprise you. Be open to being surprised
:: iPod touches are the coolest
:: I ♥ the gym
:: I forgot how much I loved my own bed. It's so nice to be reunited
:: Pillows need to be specifically moulded for maximum sleep happiness
:: Impatience is difficult to deal with, but an important thing to conquer
:: Yay coffee!

---

Uh oh, scary week ahead! Panic times!

Things I Don't Get:

* People who smile without their teeth. You look ridiculous.
* People who order coffee without the coffee.
* People whose imaginary power is bigger than their real power.
* Nail polish.
* How to estimate what weather will be like in fifteen minutes.
* Feelings.
* Decisions.
* Lack of discipline.
* OLCR and why it hates me.
* Filing and why it hates me.
* People who talk about going to the gym but don't go. Then don't pretend like you will go. You probably know you don't want to. No offence, but no one else actually cares unless you actually go.
* People who DO go to the gym, but never do anything.
* People who think that having split ends is the end of the world. Pretty sure your hair looks the same.
* Other feelings.
* Work.
* Fans. Hello, it's called aircon.
* People who don't like Glee.
* Why the favourites always have to be far away.
* Orange juice without pulp.
* Cars.
* Parking.
* Why contacts sometimes feel like they're not there, but other times like they're going to scratch your eye out.
* How to get your eyeliner perfectly along the line of your eye.
* Directions.
* People who don't like Glee.

=]

These midnight hours are interminable and unbearable.

Summer, I love you.

This photo is what summer 2009/2010 has meant to me. I've been so many different people this summer, and I like all but one of them. 99% of the time I feel overflowing with life and its greatness. I've been in the most peaceful village of Bali, spent time with the most loving and beautiful little children in the world, whose hearts it almost hurt to see were so perfect, shopping with amazing girls in Kuta, ran home in the rain with a reunited friend from a city in the middle of nowhere to our tiny hotel, had my eyes opened by the amazing world that's hiding under the ocean, I've met random motorcyclists on the side of the road when lost and scared who changed my view of God and other things, eaten double chocolate brownie Cornettos at 2am coming home from a long and sweaty night of dancing, ridden on motorcycles, soaked myself in beautiful seawater, drank in the sun, drunk glass upon glass of fresh mango juice, bonded with kids who have needed me more than anyone, but who I found I needed more, met soul mates in surprising places, celebrated Christmas with a special family and seen the new generation be born, enjoyed being the crazies on the town with some excellent ladies, shopped and shopped and shopped in Singapore, ran my heart out at the gym, eaten super hot chillis, seen fireworks in the craziest places, discovered peace in Borneo, and found out the real philosophy behind and answers to life sitting in the car with my longtime bestfriend. Summer is renewal.

Wardrobe Inventory

My life has been very transient lately, and I feel like I'm always either packing a suitcase, living out of a suitcase, or emptying a suitcase onto the floor. I've become addicted to throwing things out and reorganising also. So now, my wardrobe is tidied, and of course I feel like I have absolutely no clothes. So I've decided to do a count:


Dresses: Grand total of 49. Oh my God. 49 dresses. Yes. I own 49 dresses. And I've thrown out many in the last two months. FORTY NINE DRESSES. I think I might fall over. And the scariest thing is, chances are I will 'need'/want/buy more. Oh dear. Oh man.

Jeans: I did buy two fabulous pairs in Singapore and Borneo because they were awesome and a reward to myself, but I now own six pairs of jeans. I don't think that's too excessive. Jeans are a necessity. And different occasions call for different colours and styles. Respectable. Six pairs.

Shoes: For a girl, I have not all that many pairs of shoes. Again, I've thrown out about.... oh say twenty pairs the last two months. And currently, I have... 22 pairs of shoes. Including dance shoes, I have 25. Actually...that is a lot isn't it. Oh wow.

Handbags: Thankfully I've thrown out so many, this shouldn't so obscene as it could've been a month ago. I only own eight handbags. That's not bad. Although if I count clutches, I have another eight clutches. Oh my goodness. I have sixteen bags. SIXTEEN BAGS.

Other miscellaneous items: I'm not even going to count. I'm too depressed.

This is unbelievable. How on earth do I still feel like I have no clothes?? But I don't!! There are so many things I need!!
I'm starting to panic. How will I take my life with me if I move away????

Well, paradise is totally to be found in　Ｂｏｒｎｅｏ．Ｉ　ｄｏｎ’ｔ　ｋｎｗｏ　ｗｈａｔ’ｓ　ｕｐ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｋｅｙｂｏａｒｄ，　ｓｏ　ａｍ　ｋｅｅｐｉｎｇ　ｉｔ　ｓｈｏｒｔ　ａｎｄ　ｓｗｅｅｔ．　ｈｏｗｅｖｅｒ　ｈｅｒｅ，i've shopped successfully, gone to the gym at my leisure for as long as I want and been known by name, swam, slept, sewed, relaxed, pondered, lived without pretending and thinking and been SO RELAXED. AHHHH.It's awesome. I even came up with a resolution! It won't make　sense if I share, but it's totally applicable to everything in my life, and is only three words. Ah whatev - it's no loose ends. As much as that may make sense to...none of you. It makes perfect sense to me.Ｉ　ｈｏｐｅ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ　ｓｔｉｃｋ　ｔｏ　ｉｔ．
Ｈｅｒｅ’ｓ　ｈｏｐｉｎｇ　２０１０　ｉｓ　ａ　ｍａｓｓｉｖｅ　ｉｍｐｒｏｖｅｍｅｎｔ　ｏｎ　２００９　－　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｓｏ　ｆａｒ．　Ｉ　ｃａｎ’ｔ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｅｘｐｌａｉｎ　ｔｏ　ｙｏｕ．　Ｓｔａｒｔｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｙｅａｒ　ｉｎ　ｐａｒａｄｉｓｅ，　ｉｔ　ｃａｎ　ｏｎｌｙ　ｇｅｔ　ｂｅｔｔｅｒ．Ｙｅｓ．　Ｏｈ　ｄｅａｒ　ｎｏｗ　Ｉ　ｃａｈｎｇｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｌａｎｇｕａｇｅ　ｔｏ　Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ．　Ｃａｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｒｅａｄ　ｔｈｉｓ？？？？？？　Ｗｈａｔ’ｓ　ｈａｐｐｅｎｅｄ？？？？　：（

I love tea

Tea and coffee are my lifeblood.

Singapore today - good bye my friends! I shall see you when I return!

Oh dear, resolution time.

There are few things in the world that stress me out more than New Year Resolutions. I guess I feel a bit like because they're for a whole year they have to be really super awesome and amazing; a massive personal change or something. And if they aren't, then there's really no point in having them.

But then I'm also thinking that's a lot of pressure to put on myself. Like.... so what if the resolutions aren't that life changing? Can it even count? And I get really mad at people who are like 'I'm going to get fit and be healthy.' That's not a resolution, it's a cop out because it is too vague and you will never achieve anything. But I guess there are so many things I'd like to change I don't really know what to start with. So I'm currently a little torn as to whether I should bother with the New Year Resolutions stress and bother, but at least have something to be proud of at the end of the year, or just not bother, and be proud of stuff by the end of the year anyway.

Hm. Something to ponder. Maybe I could do decade goals like I heard on the radio. But they're even more ridiculous and fanciful and overwhelming than one-year goals. A decade from now, I'll be 29. So I could say 'goals' like, be an awesome lawyer, be married, have lived in four hundred different countries, know what I'm doing with life, have kids, still be connected with my family and some of the great Perth people... but how on earth am I supposed to even know what I'll be like when I'm 29??? Maybe I'll hate law! Maybe God will have dropped the bomb I'm meant to be single! Maybe I'll never have left Perth but be really happy with that! Arrgghhh!!

Okay now I'm totally stressed and I have no idea what I'll do. Maybe I'll just go back to the gym. The gym answers all of life's problems. You can compare yourself to all of the old ladies and feel good about yourself, even though the people you're comparing yourself to are like, 95. You can check out the hot guys, and laugh at the ones who are obviously showing off but have no muscle at all and can only do like, three bench press thingos before dying and looking at themselves in the mirror for half an hour. You can just make yourself run and run and run and run until all your muscles burn and your head spins and you don't have to think anymore. You can go everyday, and never feel like people hate you, because they are way too busy in their own heads.
Yeah. The gym is the place to be.

It's a night for extremely awesome music that puts you in a great mood.

I'm going to Singapore in two days, and Borneo in six days.
I've got awesome plans for 2010.
I'm hopelessly addicted to the gym and am actually seeing exciting improvement.
I've worked out some important parts of life.

And you know? I still feel lame. I can't shake all of this. No matter what answer I reach, there doesn't seem to be a happy ending.
Lame.

Haven't Met You Yet

So for some unknown reason I just love this song. I'm not really a Michael Buble fan, and I'm actually not a huge music person - I'm more an 'in the background' kind of person, but it just puts me in a happy mood. And it'd be cool if grocery shopping could be that productive.

productivity juices flowing

That photo basically sums up how I've felt the last two days! It's been a bit of a whirlwind. I spent ten hours yesterday totally spring cleaning my entire room. Including all the cupboards that for the last five years have been my 'Oh I'll need that later I'll just put it in here for now' storage. I. Feel. Amazing. If you're ever having a bad day, spring clean. It's so refreshing. Aside from the emotional trauma you run into whenever you find something heart wrenching from the past, or in the agony of deciding whether or not to throw something out, it is totally totally worth it.

I've done another last minute dash in finishing my application to study abroad. It was basically the around the world marathon of applications, and I'm really scared I've done it wrong, but it's submitted! I'm now desperately praying it'll all come through. I've wanted this for so long!

I've gotten back into writing letters lately, and if I do say so myself, my letters are awesome. If you'd like one, let me know. They are so fun to write!

I've also started reading science fiction. Originally I was like 'pfft lame!' But I'm slowly getting into it. I finished Brave New World today, which isn't so much sci fi as dystopian fiction, but it is crazy good. Go try it. Reading outside your usual books is fun, and eye opening. It brings back fond memories of Year 12 Lit.

At work today, we had a ladies lunch. I felt incredibly young, it was like I was everyone's daughter, but it was actually quite nice. I like my work people. And I got extra pineapple on my pizza so it was supremely amazing. And no that wasn't a lame pun about a supreme pizza. I had hawaiian. It was just really great.

My brain is still whirring from the crazy of the last six months. Sometimes it whirrs a lot and it gets so crazy I need to get by myself and scream. Other times I can stop it whirring and focus on other fun things. It's weird. But it's getting better.

Enough rambling. These holidays are going to be okay. I can feel it.

Bali

One of the greatest experience of my life!


Dewi & Me..what an angel!



My Little Favourite!




The Ladies =]



Some of the kids heading to school


Blimbingsari Waterfall



Gaspir, Arjana and I!



Where we snorkelled!


Orangutans!



Elephants!



Amy & I, reunited after nine years!


Kuta Sunset


Ahh there are so many things I could say about it! Maybe another time. But really. Amazing.

Why doesnt my blog say I'm updating???

But...whatever.

Some things I'd like to share to whoever is reading.

I'm currently in Bali, with nine people I don't know. This is kind of weird.
Also in the Bali party is a girl I know but haven't seen since I was 10. This is also weird, but surprisingly awesome.
I am sick of Perth life. Perth will always be home, but I am done with who we are, why we act how we do, how complicated things get and how we dramatize stuff to make life more exciting. I'm over it, and I'm ready to change it. summer time is change time.

I've made a few promises to myself for this summer. And I'm dead set on sticking to them. If it hits February, and I'm back at uni and I'm still the same, i'm not leaving perth until I fix it. I'm not buying into running away, or backing away or giving up. And I fully intend to be in the US by September.

So! I have some work to do. and I'm hoping living selflessly for these orphans the next few days will help me do that.

love to my loved ones

Emily xx

Phone Operators

I feel like I need to share with the internet just how helpful the Centrelink phone operator was today. I never ever thought I would use the word 'helpful' and 'phone operator' in the same sentence... but I did! This guy was amazing! Two big thumbs up for him. I called with about four million questions, three suspended and owing payments, travelling, confusion and an uncooperative uni, and in ten minutes he sorted it out and did some snazzy fiddling with computers so I would never have to call them again!

I'm pretty stoked. I wish I'd got his name so I could send some chocolates. So, Mr Centrelink, I hope you get my mental vibes of gratitude.

And Hermes, I wish you could sense my rage. I am so so so so so sick of filling out your ridiculous questions. What do you mean what stereotypes do I have of what the stereotypes they might have of us???

I shake my fists at you repeatedly.

Oh life you crazy thing

Not that it's all that exciting, but a snippet of the crazies that have been happening in my life:

1. Applying for being away for a year. Woohoo!
2. Finding out I did pretty well all up for second year law. Woohoo!
3. Reading new books. Definitely extremely exciting.
4. Finding out the uni I want to apply for has a glee club. Awesome much?
5. Magically shedding that depressing weight.
6. Getting excited for Bali orphanage times.
7. Getting excited at generosity - I have over $400 in donations!
8. Camp numbers are slowly growing, we're on 11 kids so far for SchoolzOut which is pretty special.
9. Buying a PINK top. Not just pink. PINK.
10. Seeing the school girls. Always makes me happy.
11. Cheating the unnecessarily stubborn uni system and doing the units I want.
12. Saving.
13. Suddenly realizing I'm eating up my phone credit. At least I get value for money.
14. hating on my job, but then, who doesn't.
15. Gradually tidying and streamlining life.

Crazzzziiiiieeeessssssss.

Almost There!

Two exams tomorrow (OMG Evidence and Torts kill me) AND I AM FINISHED!!!!!!!

EXCIIIIITTTTIIIIINGGGG!

Change comes in all various forms.

For example, I've become a skirts-wearing person.

Just saying.

Weekends are so great

I really do love the weekend. Top points about this weekend just past:

* I didn't study one bit!
* Kat's hen's night was so fabulous.
* So was the shirt, I'm wearing it as I type. I've never worn something so pink in my life.
* Camp meeting went really well. Although I'm a bit nervous, as I'm running a dorm, a session and three activities. The people don't even know me!!
* Bali plans are coming together. Cute orphans in need of loving, here I come!
* There are some people who just make life smiley. I spent lots of time with these types of people this weekend.
* San Churros is a winner. always.
* Fun conversations on the jetty.
* Watching Glee episodes and wishing my life was exactly like theirs!
* JARRAD
* Knowing I can totally get all my study done in time. Totally.
* Dancing for the mpk kids. Oh man they are so cute. I just wanted to squeeze their cheeks. And they all joined in the dance too, which was the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
* Lots of coffee.
* Insanely cute stuffed toys.
* Chocolate cake!

And now... nine minutes until study begins.
What a depressing countdown.

Addition

Don't ask me why, but when I googled 'why life is awesome', the link that came up was 10 Awesome Reasons Why Addition is Important in your Life.

They are:
.: Shopping
.: Computers and Calculators
.: Ordering
.: Real Numbers
.: Arithmetic
.: In literature and daily living
.: Building a family (??????????? I know right?????)
.: Ballet, Opera, etc.
.: Services
.: Birthdays, Calendars and events.

No offence to the people who made this site, but these reasons are not awesome, nor are they particularly awe-inspiring, or encourage a greater love of maths. They are actually kind of lame.

Just saying.

Whinge

I have never cared this little for a uni assignment in my life.

Helloooooo no sleep!

Something Ridiculous

Today, I became a true dole bludger. I'm receiving the $950 bonus (yes that stimulus package payment). Now. In October. Nine months after it was actually announced.

I think this is absolutely ridiculous. Do I need $950? No. (Not to say I don't want it.) Am I going to spend that $950 and 'stimulate' the economy? No. It is going straight into my savings. The only effect it will have is in the US or Indonesia. No love for the Australian economy.

Also today, I saw a spray tan salon, whose motto was 'safe and natural.' Um....spray tan? Natural? Whatever.

Also also today, I saw on the bus on a big bulky guy in one of those fluoro yellow shirts who looked so manly he might just explode with testosterone. He was enormous. Then I noticed he was reading a book on Michael Jackson. Weird. Then I noticed he had a Weight watchers meal in his bag. Weird. Then I noticed he carried his bag like a handbag. Extra weird. I wonder what it's like being him.

self-obsession

I read a lot of the pretty, crafty blogs out there because they make me happy. There's lots of beautifully taken photos, creative and simple ideas, and really refreshing and calming posts about various, simple things in life.

Sometimes I'm sad my life isn't like that. I don't just sit around all day with my sole purpose to go to the post office and then make something for my mum/best friend/other. I can't sleep in and then just enjoy an unplanned and quiet day. Every second of my day is usually scheduled or at least partially scheduled a week or so in advance. I have classes to go to, study to do, essays to write/procrastinate about, work, tutoring, Salt, dance, socializing, family time, coffee to drink, the gym and sorting out the ridiculous dramas that seem to currently define me. Some of the time, I really resent it all. I want to be able to not set an alarm every morning so I can hurry through every second of the day to get stuff done and then not really appreciate the day for what it was. Or, choose not to do everything I need to do but have that nagging feeling of guilt whirling around my head. I'd love to be able to give more of myself to help people, and see people, and love people.

At the same time, I love productiveness. I think I was programmed with ambition and (occasionally present) motivation to be organized and get stuff done. I like to jam pack my day with a thousand different things, and I like opening my diary and seeing it all written in full the things I have to do, and the ticks or lines through the things I've already done. I like to feel accomplished and like I've succeeded with my time. But I suppose sometimes it's really important to slow down.

I'm really good at beating myself up about things. In particular, caring about other people; I never feel like I do it enough. I can never give all of myself to making sure everyone else is okay. At the moment, my brain is so self-absorbed with all this crap I can barely look at other people sometimes. And that is a really unhealthy and unsatisfying way to be.

And so, I have set myself a goal. After exams (because uni really does have priority), I will slow down a bit. These may just be empty words, because I make myself busy even if I'm not. But when you are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, everything-ly exhausted, it might be the best time to force it. I will stop drinking five coffees a day and embrace the other fun parts of life. It will be summer, and there's the beach and billions of people who need loving everywhere.

Yeah

My dad is so awesome. Just saying.

The Bus

In theory, if you get a seat on the 78, it's meant to be a sign of a good day. Or at least a productive one. But it is 8:02am and I'm already procrastinating.

I am amused by the pattern my lipstick makes on my coffee cup.

Sunshine

I really am a drama queen. Ah well, sometimes it's warranted. Or even healthy. Maybe not healthy. I don't know.

So not very long before exams, so so so much to do. And all I really want to do is laze on the beach.

healthy.

And we're back here again!

cannot be

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

The Fray//All At Once

Cryptic lives

And crash, the wall is back.

Friends, am I making sense? Or should you slap me around the face?

but being shallow is good for you.

Ah the sun! It makes me feel like that picture. amazingly.
I love you, hope.

although I am still shallow

My new favourite video! Why? It has (in no particular order):
* Fat people
* Dancing
* Horrible horrible outfits
* Awkward moments
* Lack of shame
* Crap dance music
* People falling over

What more could you want??

of something new and great

Oh being busy how I love you.

I've realized that replacing memories is a fun, important and special process. Although sometimes very hard.

Seeing the sun is so lovely!

Maybe this can be the start

Finally sleep has come.

But little change, little change.

but very disjointed

Material goods make me temporarily happy.

Lost lost lost.

which I find to be quite enjoyable

Very little sleep and three coffees before 8am make for an unwell Emily.

Streams of consciousness make me more tired.

There isn't even a stream to my consciousness, more like a trickle.

my post titles have become a story

My blog has also become my semi-more privatized facebook status updater. I don't care

What is a real friend anyway?

Are you worse or better for wanting to forgive what really is the unforgiveable?

I'm not sure

Well now

What would my life be without coffee and a comfy bed?

Nothing, I declare!

Oh confusion, how I hate you.

Replaced with a broken heart

Today I learnt a new word. Pillock.

It's a word that is easy on the tongue. Try it out.

Rage.

I really just need a big public declaration of how rage-ful and mad I feel right now.
There has never been so much anger inside of me in my entire life. In fact, I'm actually shaking from it.

On the plus side, I bought new shoes today, although I broke my favourite pair last night, so really, it's all a bit bleak at the moment. Although, these new ones are gold and jelly rubber stuff.

That lame facebook thing

42 Q's about 21 Ppl...Share
Yesterday at 1:30pm
Go through your wall posts and list the last 21 people to post on your wall or comment on your status or like your status. Do not list any repeats; simply go to the next name in the list. Then answer the 42 questions pertaining to the 21 names. When you're finished, tag all 21 people on the list, so the cycle can continue. If you've been tagged, copy and paste this information into a new note and follow the directions above.

1. Bec Bilson
2. Ferg Inglis
3. Jordan Holt
4. Elizabeth Shanhun
5. Adam Cross
6. Heather Inglis
7. Ali Inglis
8. Dan Ruhs
9. Emily Adamek
10. Ashlee Uren
11. Jeremy Rich
12. Stefan Tomasich
13. Steve Kelly
14. Lauren Busteed
15. Hannah Jury
16. Terri Seeber
17. Amy Gageler
18. Kat Bowden
19. Jessica Landgren
20. Jennifer Cousemacker
21. Lindsay Scott


1. How did you meet 1?
Mounties times :)

2. What would you do if you never met 15?
You know, I don't actually know Hannah all that well, however facebook quizzes have informed me she is my partying friend. So I suppose, I wouldn't enjoy as much as a party as we will one day have!

3. Would you date 20?
Wrong team, but Jenny is good fun. We went to salsa together!

4. Have you ever seen 8 cry?
I can definitely say not.

5. Would 3 and 13 make a good couple of dancers?
LOL at the idea of Jordan and Steve dancing together. My brain exploded.

6. Describe 9!
My oldest friend! We met when we were basically born.

7. Do you like 16?
Hahaha for sure, she keeps me sane in early morning ADR.

8. Do you think 6 is attractive?
I feel weird commenting on this!!! Heather you are a lovely lady!

9. When was the last time you talked to 8?
When I was 13 and we visited the Ruhs' in America!

10. Would you ever date 10?
Why are all these questions about dating? Ashlee is a good looking lady, but just not quite my type!

11. Where does 15 live?
I believe in the suburb of cool people, that being Winthrop.

12. What is the best thing about 21?
What isn't?? She is a fab fab friend, I don't know what I'd do without her, and she always looks amazing.

13. What would you like to tell 18 right now?
I'm still perplexed about your messages, and CONGRATS YOU ARE AN (ALMOST) HOMEOWNER!!!!!!! I think you're awesome.

14. What is the best thing about 7?
She's basically me in another body, so that therefore makes her great.

15. Have you ever kissed 4?
Hahahhaa no =P

16. What's the best memory you have of 3?
Ooooo, it's a close one between SYTYCD tour and Burn The Floor!!!

17. When's the next time you're going to see 12?
Around uni I would think. We are cool and hang out in the courtyard.

18. Is 11 pretty?
Hahaha, Jeremy is a very pretty man.

19. What was your first impression of 4?
I could not even remember! It would've been so long ago!

20. Is 13 your best friend?
Only when he isn't selling himself out to run for the Guild =P
Just kidding Stevo :)

21. Have you seen 16 in the last month?
Yeah, we chill at the lawbry like all the cool kids do.

22. When was the last time you saw 14?
Last night at the Windsor!!

23. Have you been to 21's house?
Hahaha it was my other home when we were little :)

24. When is the next time you'll see 10
When we trade contracts classes in Moot Court.

25. Are you really close to 1?
Haha sure we're dancing friends!

26. Would you give 9 a hug?
Of course :)

27. Have you ever been to 18's house?
I have, but not to her soon-to-be K-town house!!

28. Do you know a secret about 5?
Plenty. Or not.

29. Describe the relationship between 14 and 19?
I would be shocked if they knew each other!

30. What's your friendship like with 7?
We pretty much hate each other. She uses me for my GHD and red lipstick. =D

31. Have you ever danced with 17?
Can't say I have, seeing as she lives in NSW.

32. How do you know 21?
Friends since year one :) We were so cute and small.

33. Does 2 have a bf?
I should hope not Fergus!

34. Have you ever wanted to punch 4 in the face?
Violent much??

35. Has 11 met your mother?
Ohhh no.

36. Have you travelled anywhere with 12?
Nope! He's too cool for me.

37. If you gave 7 $100, what would they spend it on?
A GHD/A dress/Ben Folds

38. What's your best memory of 2?
Lots of the hilarious things he says! We had a great time at that salty weekend.

39. What is the one thing you most want 19 to know?
I will come to dance soon!!! I promise!!!

40. What was the last thing you did with 6?
Crashed her house and ate her delicious food :)

41. When did you meet 20?
She came to visit Steve and come to the 21st - we had a great couple of times out while she was here!!

42. What do you wish for number 8?
I could visit him soon!

Blarghhh

Oh my goodness I've actually gone crazy.
It's been a really really crazy week! But a really happy one. And almost productive!

However.

I've started pondering stuff; I'm quite confused about where I sit. In particular: church.

Sometimes I wonder why it is we meet. I know I find when I get to church, I don't notice any particular goal to love God more. In fact, sometimes it makes me feel guilty about who I am, and what I like. I like ambition, motivation and dedication. And I like having them in my life. I don't think God would make me up that way to have to put it aside and question every single thing I do. And I'm pretty sure God doesn't want me feel guilty every second of every day.

But that's kind of how I feel when I go to church. Like no matter what I do, I'm a fake, and I feel guilty for not loving other people more, for being impatient, for not wanting to work in the church, for not helping out more in ministries. But I know if I did those last two now, my heart wouldn't be in it. I'd be bitter because I'd feel like I was being forced into it.

I guess what I'm saying is I feel like the focus is lost when I get to church. Like we slip into this discourse where we're not conversing with God, we're throwing these statements out there like 'give us ears to hear' that don't even mean anything. But they count because they sound good. It's almost like speaking Christian-ese, and it feels so fake! If only we were more genuine; I don't think I could love God in a gentle way, and to be honest sometimes I think I prefer to know he exists, and love him, but not let myself feel guilty all the time for not doing more.

I don't think I'm really explaining myself; I guess I think if I'm feeling like I'm only a real Christian if I do leadership, or take part in ministries run by the church or whatever, then really, I'm selling myself out. God still made me, and he wouldn't have given me the desire to succeed and to learn more, and work hard and all of those things if He didn't want me to use it.

Anyway, this was a ramble. Tell me if you think I'm totally off-base. All these thoughts get caught in my head and I never know where to go with them!!

Sydney!!

Okay I will discuss Sydney at a later time, but for now I just need to brag a little...

I got into the mooting semi finals!!!!!!!!!!!

And ending brag-time.

The weeks run by...

So much happens! It's amazing!

Soon is Sydney and fun times.

Mooting is a rush.

TV shows are the best.

SYTYCD America is nearly over :(

Our new coffee machine is AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

And that's all...

another one is already running by...

Sometimes mistakes are made just to pretend you are fine and dandy, and then they remind you that you're not.

Cahrazy.

Emily's Life As Facebook Status Updates:

Emily is embracing her inner nerd. [As a side note, you may be thinking 'well of course, she's always been a nerd. But I'd just like to point out, the happiest part of my last two weeks has been when I've been researching and writing my Torts essay. Yeah. I kid you not.]

Emily is enjoying her first day as a dole bludger!

Emily is scared for her evidence lecture, as her fingers are not sufficiently warmed up for 45 minutes of constant speedy typing.

Emily is as disgusted as always with the cheap Guild coffee.

Emily can't wait for the pancakes date this afternoon with fellow ranga Ali.

Emily is excitedly dreaming of being in Sydney and looking beautiful for Ben Folds.

Emily experimented with bobby pins and realized a fringe is definitely not for her.

Emily is procrastinating at uni.

Emily thinks getting Snap set up was a bad idea.

Emily wonders what VPN is and what it stands for? And why she has two?

Emily's phone is looking a bit sad.

Emily loves people watching in Hackett Cafe.

Emily loves spying on all the people playing solitaire on their laptops in lectures.

Emily should stop blogging and finish her essay.

Emily gets her moot question tomorrow! (See the first line for reaffirming the inner nerd.)

Oh my goodness I haven't procrastinated this much in my entire life.


Oh Torts essay why won't you write yourself???

In other unhappy news, mooting suddenly comes across as much harder than I originally thought.

Sadface.

Oh wow.

It's kind of embarrassing, but I cried. Man it was so amazing!

What I ponder while studying...

.: I feel a little like I'm spamming my own blog. Is that even possible? But whatever. I don't care.

.: Seeing the school girls for Lindsay's birthday last night (happy birthday Lindsay!) was supremely fantastic. ♥ to them

.: Eating Haribo gummi bears makes me 30x happier.

.: Choosing an area of law to focus your essay on that you haven't yet learnt about creates approximately 500x more work for yourself.

.: But defamation law is quite interesting, so it's worth it. Maybe.

.: Planning trips to Sydney is fun fun fun for everyone! I'm so excited!

.: I sing out loud a lot when I'm home on my own. That is quite embarrassing.

.: I'm still embarrassed the Shiseido girl told me I had bad skin, so I now drink a lot of water. Like a LOT. Yesterday at work I had like nine glasses of water, in case other people thought I also had bad skin.

.: I only like keeping other people's things nice and tidy. Tidying your own stuff is boring.

.: Signing up for mooting was a crazy yet excellent idea I think.

.: What should I wear to Amy's 21st tonight?

.: Highlighting is fun! Yellow highlighters are the best though. Orange highlighters are lame.

.: I often think about mundane things to hide myself from thinking about God related stuff. I think that is common, but it's sad it's common.

.: Planning to go to the Balinese orphanage is getting me super excited! Who's free early December? You should come too.

Mmm...that's all. I need to go write an essay now *sigh*

Just saying...

I ♥ rainy nights :)

My Sister's Keeper made me teary-face!

Vampire Photoshop

Oh wow am I addicted to this thing now. It is so much fun! Here's what I did just then...



I haven't seen Twilight the movie, but I read the book and I have the feeling I've captured the ridiculously pale/sparkling thing they get in the sun. Maybe I'm secretly a vampire. (By the way, for some lame reason the colour here is SO DULL compared to what comes up in photoshop, so no I am not completely talentless... well... maybe just partially! But you can see the colours properly if you click on the picture... but no pressure I'm just saying that I'm not really that bland looking!)

Tutorial for sparkles (aka star diffusion... I prefer sparkles!) here.

I feel a bit weird posting all these photos of myself, but I'd rather photoshop those because other people might be offended that I don't think they're pretty enough already! Besides, it's fun making myself have brown hair/no eyebrows (oh wait, I didn't have those in the first place...) :)

And just for fun, I won a $10 ref voucher (yeww the ref...only the lamest place ever) for coming first in the guild tipping competition at uni :) I am quite proud of myself, although it's pretty sad if the best effort is 6/8. It's going to be a good week!

Just a quick whinge... am I the only one who has heard Miley Cyrus's 'The Climb' every freaking time I get in the car the last two weeks???
SERIOUSLY!
'Ain't about how fast I get there... ain't about what's waiting on the other side...' Ain't about getting some grammatical ability, hey Miley?

Golly.

That Facebook Thing

I decided I would fill it out, because otherwise I have to do my evidence homework and that's BORINGGGG

If you've been tagged or you are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging other victims. You have to tag me also. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your title as "Getting to know each other!", tag people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. What time did you get up this morning? Around 10:15...does it count as a sleepin if you didn't get to sleep until 3am?

2. How do you like your steak? With extra meat, and Nandos extra hot peri peri :):)

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter 6! The biggest diversion from the actual book ever!

4. What is your favorite TV show? How I Met Your Mother, So You Think You Can Dance (Australia AND US), Grey's Anatomy.... there's a long list. Damn TiVo.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? In the next few years? Somewhere in America. In life in general? Wherever I'm taken - Perth is lovely, but I'd like to appreciate it more by having lived somewhere else.

6. What did you have for breakfast? A slice of vegemite toast and a cup of tea :) The same thing I have every morning. I like routine.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Hot and spicy!!! That is so a cuisine.

8. What foods do you dislike? Bananas. And I don't like the look of porridge, or the name, but I love the taste. Does that count?

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Anywhere!! I love eating!!

10. Favorite dressing? Nando's extra-hot peri peri!

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? A toyota corolla with no aerial. I broke it off by accident.

12. What are your favorite clothes? Dresses! Pretty pretty dresses! And high heels.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? The pyramids in Egypt. I don't know why but I think it would be really awesome. Future husband, if you're reading this, please propose to me at the pyramids.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Well if I'm eating/drinking what's in the cup, half-empty because I'll want more. But in the 'it's a lot like life' way... half full I think.

15. Where would you want to retire? NEVER.

16. Favorite time of day? The warm sunny part, and night time.

17. Where were you born? Fitzroy. How unexciting.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Netball! And dance! And basketball! And football!

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? I haven't tagged anyone in the first place. The pressure was too much - who do I tag first? Will I offend someone if I don't tag them? What if someone gets tagged by me and is all like 'oh that Emily girl is so lame I hate her so much look at her crap answers to this crazy quiz'? So I went for the blog instead. The pressure is so much less.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? ...see above :)

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Um. Well. The questions aren't all that enlightening, so I'm not too fussed.

22. Bird watcher? How is that exciting? I mean, they are birds. Speaking of, I saw a dead one on the side of the road in Freo the other day, it was so gross.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? It depends on what activity is happening! I'm cool with either.

24. Do you have any pets? Nahhhhhhhh. One day I'd like to have a fish :)

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I was sucked in by the sales girl at Shiseido and bought THE MOST AMAZING SKIN STUFF EVER OH MY GOSH. My face is so smooth! And hydrated! But that's not exciting. Exciting... going to see Ben Folds at the Opera House with some of the coolest kids! Yayy!

26. What did you want to be when you were little? An author, or a journalist, or a diplomat, or ... or... everything!

27. What is your best childhood memory? Lots of family holidays... and probably dancing. I loved dancing.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? I'm not really an animal person... although once I get to know certain dogs I fall in love with them.

29. Are you married? To my law degree.

30. Always wear your seat belt? I do :) It's the first thing I do when I get in the car. Safety first!

31. Been in a car accident? Nope :) Oh wait, I lie - I was, on the way to a dance concert.

32. Any pet peeves? People who mis-use apostrophes, or use the wrong 'your/you're', or who put in speech marks when there is NO SPEECH YOU'RE EMPHASIZING SOMETHING SO UNDERLINE IT FOOLS. Or people who try to compete with you when there's no competition. Example: 'Oh man, I have so much work to do this weekend this sucks', 'Yeah well I had seven assignments due yesterday and eight essays for tomorrow and I have to walk my dog, so yours is nothing'. =\ But I never said I was trying to compete with you!! ARGH!

33. Favorite pizza toppings? PINEAPPLE

34. Favorite flower? Umm...daisies :) Or white lilies, or roses

35. Favorite ice cream? Rocky Road!

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Um. Um. Um. Um.... I don't know! Dome? Does that count? =P Or Wok In A Box

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None! I was awesome and passed every time :)

38. From whom did you get your last email? Facebook. Lame.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Sportsgirl. Or Myer. Or pretty much anywhere with beautiful things. Kikki K!

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Sort of, sort of not. I'm spontaneous without being spontaneous. If ya know what I mean...

41. Like your job? It pays the bills. It's actually alright, filing can be lame but it's a nice other part of life.

42. Broccoli? Yum!

43. What was your favorite vacation? Probably the school tour to England, that was so fun! And America because it's awesome. And all the Bali/Penang trips. I think all vacations :)

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Um um... Ali came over and we ate dinner? If not the school girls, that's how we catch up :)

45. What are you listening to right now? Nothing, because I'm 'studying'.

46. What is your favorite color? Blue and greeeeeeeen. And I've become a big fan of red lately.

47. How many tattoos do you have? None and I will NEVER get one. They are so so so so so so so so so so SO tacky.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? YOU

49. What time did you finish this quiz? At 1:17pm, but I'm pretty sure that's completely irrelevant to anything ever.

Anyway... I better actually do some work. But... we'll see. I have a new cousin and he is JUST THE CUTEST THING EVER so I may just go visit him instead.

Photoshop!

So I've had photoshop on my computer for a while, but have always been intimidated by it so never did anything. What a fool! I saw a tutorial here on how to make your photos look TTV - and it was easy!!! There's still a few kinks I have to iron out like sizing the frames and working out how to resize layers, and also how to unchange the accidental changes I made to the settings... but they're all easy to live with! Anyway, here's some of the fun photos I had a play with...







Exciting hey??? I'm so addicted.Now I want to learn more!

By the way, all the overlays I used were found here.

Je pense que le francais est beau parce que les mots sont differents mais le moyen des mots est le meme chose. Mais, quand vous lisez que j'ecris, vous voyez un passage sans comprendre. Vous ne comprenez rien; c'est possible que vous ne comprendrez jamais.

Et pour moi, je compris maintenant. Mais demain, ou dans l'avenir, c'est probable que je ne comprendrai pas. Et, c'est d'accord.

Et, ce passage, c'est plein d'erreurs.

J'espere que vous savez que je t'aime. Et un jour, cet amour-la sera parfait. Jusqu'a ce jour-la, j'essayerai d'etre plus consacre.